a note

dear ma,

    im sorry for all the things that i've done to you... im

also sorry for me being a failure. sometimes i think that i don't

deserve anything from you. i am also sorry for being mad to you.
there are things that i can't really solve by myself. at times hat i

need you. i can't really understand why there is no substance. i

can't really figure out. i hated myself because i can't make you

feel that there are many times that you are wrong. i don't want

your  attitude in thiings and i think that you are the one to

blame in the things that you are doing. palagi mo na lang

pinapansin ang mga kamalian ng ibang tao and yet you don't

want to see your's.  you always think about your problems ad yet

you don't reallize that i got one to, too many to handle. you

always want to go back to your hardships therefore you ignore

mine. you also don't know, now as a boy, im not yet a man

because there is no way to improve myself because you throw to

me everything that is bad. now i cannot reach out, because you

really don't take me seriously. i always smile, i always laugh but

when i am serious and im crying all you do is laugh. im only a

boy, i always cry not because of bruises but because of what you

are doing. i always pray that god will touch your heart and yet, i

don't know... i stay below because i want for you to realize in your

self what you are doing, and i am still hoping for that to come. i

don't know why i can't really hate you. i just don't know. i am not

really good at speaking but in this, i can say what i really want to

say without the feeling disregarded. i seek help, for you to

improve your attitude and i also pray for it. when i when to the

church one day, i seek help, and many times i pray for you. you

might not read it, but if you do, please understand. i think i

cannot anymore realize my potentials. i've also got dreams not

only for myself but for the family. at times you say something to

me, i think that it really don't help me to feel anything better. i

am needing for your appreciations but it won't come... may you

solve and surpass you trials in life... that's all i wish for but i

think won't hear that. your mind is closed for all the things

might come. that's all..