it's already a year... parang mabilis na hindi ko na namalayan ang mga araw. well, this year is not too good for me and yet not too bad... some experiences leaves a scary that eventually was turned into a weapon for self improvement. napakasaklap ng first 8 months ng year... i am too much burning myself in somethings i don't even know. parang napakabigat ng mga bagay-bagay para sa akin at walang balak ang tadhana para makisama. pero atleast, mapapatunayan ko na kahit na ang lahat ay wala nang pagasa, there is sometime na maaayos ang lahat, in due time... you just have to wait. ang saya ng last day, kahit na burned out na ako sa mga gawaing bahay dahil wala naman ibang gagawa eh sulit... this are time na ang mga gawaing bahay eh nagiging enjoyable para sa akin. kahit pagod, may sense of fulfillment. tumawag si papa kaya pawi lahat ng pagod. nakakamiss na nga siya but the only thing that i can do is to pray and do my best... 4 lang kami sa bahay ngayong bagong taon, ako, si mama, si micmic, at si lola. it's what i have. gots to make this enjoyable... kailangan na mag cope sa mga bagay-bagay at gawin itong pabor sa iyo,; make the most out of it. now a days ang gaan na ng pakiramdam ko... parang may improvement in the ways that i see things. it's good and i feel good...
my body is down but i feel good.
time ticks fast, nasa iyo na kung paano ang gagawin mo para kahit na mabilis ang oras, may time ka pa para magenjoy... it's the life's essence... to be happy... walang pinanganak para malungkot. all deserves to smile.
maraming nasa isip ko,,, hindi ko alam kung ano ang itatype ko...
minutes aways from 2008... wala akong plano or newyears resolution., live life in days not in the future,,, hindi mo alam baka mamaya patay ka na...
im happy.,. and i pray for guidance this year... sana maging maayos ang lahat...
happiness, jumps right out of my chest...
ganon ako kasaya ngayon...
so,,,
happy new year to you....
salamat sa pagbabasa....
:D
Monday, December 31, 2007
Saturday, December 29, 2007
a.k.a. christmas party
today was the so called, birthday ni joaqui a.k.a. christmas party of the compound... kasama kami dun ng mga repapis dito sa compound... papunta palang dun eh nagkaroon na ng aberya dahil walang transpo papunta dun kaya nagpabalik-balik ang tatay ni miko para lang maihatid ang mga dadalo sa venue. grabe ang bait talaga ni tito para gawin ang mga bagay na iyon sa mga katoto at kapit bahay. sa aya ng diyos eh nakarating sa paroroonan ang lahat ng mga manlalakbay. so as usual kami ang pagulo sa compound, walang pinagkaiba sa christmas party... it's all good kasi naging masaya naman ang lahat.
namalengke kaninang umaga, naglaro ng soccer, pumunta sa farty, naglaro ng soccer. ayun. ayus naman ang araw. so far so good.
umalis na si ate zen papuntang probinsya... babalik daw siya sa january... bago pumasok... sana nga... so ang maiiwan sa bahay eh ako, si lola, at si micmic... ako ang magiging tactician sa mga araw na wala si ate zen... mamumuno sa pag laba, pagluto, paglinis ng bahay at kung ano ano pang side quests na dadating... with great power comes with great responsibility. so let's party all day long... joke... gots to be motivated that's what i need... kailangan ding pahabain ang aking pasensya sa mga bagay bagay...
dapat...
prepared for the worst...
be happy for the best...
hanggang ako ang mamumuno. meron dapat na sense of commitment ang bawat isa sa bahay...
patay tayo dyan... hahaha
gots to sleep... kailangang magising ng maaga bukas...
im praying for he safe trip of ate zen papuntang province...
my god guide her...
gots to sleep... medyo tinatamad ako mag blog kasi pagod... lost alot of sweat sa laro... as in.. na kayang pigain ang pawis galing sa damit (ewwwww)...
another day tomorrow.... but it's different because of much more responsibilities...
namalengke kaninang umaga, naglaro ng soccer, pumunta sa farty, naglaro ng soccer. ayun. ayus naman ang araw. so far so good.
umalis na si ate zen papuntang probinsya... babalik daw siya sa january... bago pumasok... sana nga... so ang maiiwan sa bahay eh ako, si lola, at si micmic... ako ang magiging tactician sa mga araw na wala si ate zen... mamumuno sa pag laba, pagluto, paglinis ng bahay at kung ano ano pang side quests na dadating... with great power comes with great responsibility. so let's party all day long... joke... gots to be motivated that's what i need... kailangan ding pahabain ang aking pasensya sa mga bagay bagay...
dapat...
prepared for the worst...
be happy for the best...
hanggang ako ang mamumuno. meron dapat na sense of commitment ang bawat isa sa bahay...
patay tayo dyan... hahaha
gots to sleep... kailangang magising ng maaga bukas...
im praying for he safe trip of ate zen papuntang province...
my god guide her...
gots to sleep... medyo tinatamad ako mag blog kasi pagod... lost alot of sweat sa laro... as in.. na kayang pigain ang pawis galing sa damit (ewwwww)...
another day tomorrow.... but it's different because of much more responsibilities...
Friday, December 28, 2007
short circuit
it was such a bad day. i woke up na may feeling na merong mali, hindi ko lang alam pero parang meron.
nowadays, gumigising ako ng medyo tanghali na. medyo masarap kasing matulog eh. so ayun. tanghali na rin kaming kumain ng almusal at tanghalian. tipid. kasabay ang dalawang meals. grabe, ngayong araw tinatamad ako at hindi ko na gustohan ang mga ito. lumipas ang ilang oras. wala pa rin akong nagagawa, ang masiste pa niyan eh madaming kailangan gawin sa bahay. meron mind set, pero ang problema, ayaw sumunod ng katawan. gusto laging tatanga. my golly. nakakaasar. around 3 pm na ata ako nag start mag defrost. parang ang dalidali pero mahirap kasi inabot ako ng almost 6 pm sa pag gawa nito. so ayun, tinanggal ko muna sa saksakan ang ref bago ko nilinis. ang hirap mag linis kasi ang daming tinanggal. punas dito, punas doon. tapos, linis dito, linis duon. all is done. medyo sumaya na ako ng to the point na ipu-plug ko na agn ref. AMP! kaasar! yung plug sira, nag matagal na palang nagshort circuit ngayon ko lang napansin. takbo ngayon ako kay kuya labs. ang resident, carpenter, electrician, tubero at marami pang iba. humihingi ako ng tulong. ang sabi niya eh bumili daw ako ng heavy duty plug na 220 v sa hardware. ANAK NG PATO! 6 na...sarado na ang hardware. so tumkbo na ako pauwi sabay kuha ng wallet. lakad to the max ako papuntang hardware baka sakaling may maabutan pa. pag dating ko sa hardware. just as i suspected. sarado na mga repa men. i've gots no choice. ayun. takbo ulit ngayon naman ang destination eh sa puregold malapit sa amin. SA HANDY MAN... ayun bukas.! sa wakas. pero kailangan kong bilisan kasi ang deadline eh bago dumating si inay sa bahay. so hanap naman kaagad ako ng plug. dalawa ang nirecommend sa akin. kinuha ko na lang parehas just in case na hindi pumwede yung isa. pag punch nung isa, ayus. pag dating ndun sa pangalawang plug. ayun. HEAVY! walanjoe. bagong product daw so kailangan ko daw maghintay para mailagay sa database nila... HALA! nagmamadali na nga ako tapos ganun pa ang nangyari. so it's now a test of patience. kahit medyo badtrip kasi kailangan pang palitan ang plug. sige parin. hintay. after ilang minutes na tapos na ang aking paghihintay at ngayon eh nag rush na ako pauwi. tapos sabi ko kay kuya labs. na paki kabit. alam kong ikabit pero kanina pa ako na pepressure baka sumablay ang pagkakakabit ko at masira pa yung ref. so. pagkatapos. malinis na ang ref. umaandar na. success!!! weeeee. so nilabas ko muna yung halamang nasa loob ng bahay, diniligan at naglaro kami, actually nag joggle lang ako ng soccer ball na as always eh ginagawa ko.. wala lang, naeenjoy ko lang eh. so ayun.... dumating si inay, so pause muna sa paglalaro . kumain at...
nabadtrip. dahil sa paghuhugas na iyan na nung sa huli ay ako din ang gumawa... napamura ako at narinig ni inay. montik na akong sampalin. hindi ko nga alam kung bakt ako napamura. siguro sa sobrang badtrip lang kasi, kapagod hu kayang maglinis at maglakad para makaabot sa deadline tapos gagawin ko pa ang pinaka ayaw kong gawin tapos mag uutos pa si mama na buksan yung computer, tapos ang bagal pang gumalaw nung kapatid ko na parang walang naririnig. talagang montik na akong makasapak kanina sa sobrang galit ko. tinapos ko ang paghugas at lumabas ng bahay para magpalamig. oyeh!
walang tao sa labas. so nagsolitude muna ako at awa ng diyos medyo lumamig ang aking ulo.
- ikaw ang nakakaintindi, so kailangan ikaw ang magpasensya
- kung tense ka na at sobrang pressure. huminga lang ng malalim at mag dasal.
- patience is really a virtue... tried and tested yan...
- kailangan make the most out of the situation. kung paano mo gagawin ang sirang araw mo na maganda...
- you always got choices. nasa iyo kung ano ang pipiliin mo.
- time much precious than gold. pag dumaan ang oras. hindi na ito ang babalik kung hindi ikaw ang hahabol
- dahil sa kinuwento ni miko tungkol sa kanyang pagtambay sa starbucks... lalo na akong nag isip... hindi pala kasi talagang totoo. na ang starbucks eh pang mayaman... pag ako napunta dun at nakabili ng kape... tititigan ko lang at baka ilagay ko pa sa stante... gagawin souvenir...
grabeng kape yan... ang mahal... kaya kong magtimpla ng kape at naaayon sa pang lasa ko...
pasensya na kasi. nilagang kape ang iniinom ko... at sariling timpla... pasensya na pang tambay lang ang class ko... hahaha...
medyo naiirita pa ako pero i can management. kaya ko pa. i hope i can extend this patience.
the problem now is that. parang bumabalik nanaman ang anxiety complex ko. sana wag naman.
always remember.
you can do what you believe upon. kaya mo ang mga bagay-bagay kailangan lang na maniwala ka.
gots to sleep.
nowadays, gumigising ako ng medyo tanghali na. medyo masarap kasing matulog eh. so ayun. tanghali na rin kaming kumain ng almusal at tanghalian. tipid. kasabay ang dalawang meals. grabe, ngayong araw tinatamad ako at hindi ko na gustohan ang mga ito. lumipas ang ilang oras. wala pa rin akong nagagawa, ang masiste pa niyan eh madaming kailangan gawin sa bahay. meron mind set, pero ang problema, ayaw sumunod ng katawan. gusto laging tatanga. my golly. nakakaasar. around 3 pm na ata ako nag start mag defrost. parang ang dalidali pero mahirap kasi inabot ako ng almost 6 pm sa pag gawa nito. so ayun, tinanggal ko muna sa saksakan ang ref bago ko nilinis. ang hirap mag linis kasi ang daming tinanggal. punas dito, punas doon. tapos, linis dito, linis duon. all is done. medyo sumaya na ako ng to the point na ipu-plug ko na agn ref. AMP! kaasar! yung plug sira, nag matagal na palang nagshort circuit ngayon ko lang napansin. takbo ngayon ako kay kuya labs. ang resident, carpenter, electrician, tubero at marami pang iba. humihingi ako ng tulong. ang sabi niya eh bumili daw ako ng heavy duty plug na 220 v sa hardware. ANAK NG PATO! 6 na...sarado na ang hardware. so tumkbo na ako pauwi sabay kuha ng wallet. lakad to the max ako papuntang hardware baka sakaling may maabutan pa. pag dating ko sa hardware. just as i suspected. sarado na mga repa men. i've gots no choice. ayun. takbo ulit ngayon naman ang destination eh sa puregold malapit sa amin. SA HANDY MAN... ayun bukas.! sa wakas. pero kailangan kong bilisan kasi ang deadline eh bago dumating si inay sa bahay. so hanap naman kaagad ako ng plug. dalawa ang nirecommend sa akin. kinuha ko na lang parehas just in case na hindi pumwede yung isa. pag punch nung isa, ayus. pag dating ndun sa pangalawang plug. ayun. HEAVY! walanjoe. bagong product daw so kailangan ko daw maghintay para mailagay sa database nila... HALA! nagmamadali na nga ako tapos ganun pa ang nangyari. so it's now a test of patience. kahit medyo badtrip kasi kailangan pang palitan ang plug. sige parin. hintay. after ilang minutes na tapos na ang aking paghihintay at ngayon eh nag rush na ako pauwi. tapos sabi ko kay kuya labs. na paki kabit. alam kong ikabit pero kanina pa ako na pepressure baka sumablay ang pagkakakabit ko at masira pa yung ref. so. pagkatapos. malinis na ang ref. umaandar na. success!!! weeeee. so nilabas ko muna yung halamang nasa loob ng bahay, diniligan at naglaro kami, actually nag joggle lang ako ng soccer ball na as always eh ginagawa ko.. wala lang, naeenjoy ko lang eh. so ayun.... dumating si inay, so pause muna sa paglalaro . kumain at...
nabadtrip. dahil sa paghuhugas na iyan na nung sa huli ay ako din ang gumawa... napamura ako at narinig ni inay. montik na akong sampalin. hindi ko nga alam kung bakt ako napamura. siguro sa sobrang badtrip lang kasi, kapagod hu kayang maglinis at maglakad para makaabot sa deadline tapos gagawin ko pa ang pinaka ayaw kong gawin tapos mag uutos pa si mama na buksan yung computer, tapos ang bagal pang gumalaw nung kapatid ko na parang walang naririnig. talagang montik na akong makasapak kanina sa sobrang galit ko. tinapos ko ang paghugas at lumabas ng bahay para magpalamig. oyeh!
walang tao sa labas. so nagsolitude muna ako at awa ng diyos medyo lumamig ang aking ulo.
- ikaw ang nakakaintindi, so kailangan ikaw ang magpasensya
- kung tense ka na at sobrang pressure. huminga lang ng malalim at mag dasal.
- patience is really a virtue... tried and tested yan...
- kailangan make the most out of the situation. kung paano mo gagawin ang sirang araw mo na maganda...
- you always got choices. nasa iyo kung ano ang pipiliin mo.
- time much precious than gold. pag dumaan ang oras. hindi na ito ang babalik kung hindi ikaw ang hahabol
- dahil sa kinuwento ni miko tungkol sa kanyang pagtambay sa starbucks... lalo na akong nag isip... hindi pala kasi talagang totoo. na ang starbucks eh pang mayaman... pag ako napunta dun at nakabili ng kape... tititigan ko lang at baka ilagay ko pa sa stante... gagawin souvenir...
grabeng kape yan... ang mahal... kaya kong magtimpla ng kape at naaayon sa pang lasa ko...
pasensya na kasi. nilagang kape ang iniinom ko... at sariling timpla... pasensya na pang tambay lang ang class ko... hahaha...
medyo naiirita pa ako pero i can management. kaya ko pa. i hope i can extend this patience.
the problem now is that. parang bumabalik nanaman ang anxiety complex ko. sana wag naman.
always remember.
you can do what you believe upon. kaya mo ang mga bagay-bagay kailangan lang na maniwala ka.
gots to sleep.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
immaterial
december 27, 2007...
days are passing by and nagiging full pledged home boy na ako. yung mga araw bago magpasko, naglalagay ako ng tru coat sa sahig. ngayon, ayus. pagpintura naman ang gagawin ko... kung ako masusunod, hindi paint na pang pader ang gagawin ko... ang matagal ko nang gustong gawin eh pinturahan ng landscape ang pader... kaso hindi ko magawa, for the simple reasons na hindi amin itong bahay na ito, at kapag ginawa ko iyon eh mayayari ako at baka bigla akong suntukin sa face..., oh well. magagawa ko din yung balang araw...
ako yung taong may sense of accomplishment. not settling for less but i try my best to do things. ang hindi ko lang talaga magets eh kung bakit may mga taong nagpapahirap ng mga simpleng bagay. why do people make things so complicated in some parts. katulad na lang ng integral calculus. kung sino man ang nakatuklas nito ay walang thrill sa buhay. maybe too stubborn to think for other's sakes. tulad ko ngayon, hindi parin makaligtas sa bangungot ng integral calculus kahit na bakasyon. im having a break, but it is a not so break kasi, if got to set priorities everyday. may household chores at aalis pa si ate zen papuntang province. in a sense. everything is taking shape on it's own. all has a place, with his/her own responsibilities. this is what is call yung tamang break lang, not to lacks and put my gurad down so much. i need responsibilities para kahit na walang pasok, may sense of accomplishments. i am now happy. i think my anxieties wore down a bit. at least it is good.
this christmas, hindi ako naghangad ng material things dahil sa estado namin ngayon, pero naging masaya naman ako lalo na sa mga ginawa ko. nung una, akala ko wala na yung christmas spirit at ang feeling ko panoon eh talagang magigignga malamig ang aking pasko. pero nung nagsisimbang gabi na ako, dumating na yung spirit na hinihintay ko. at least, natrapik lang siya... pero dumating. i am expecting somthing pero lahat ng bagay ay dadating talaga sa takdang panahon. all has time. material things and even those you can see only by heart. all i can say is that. lower your expectations but put your hopes up high as possible. silly but sounds true. real hapiness can be achieved in due time.
days past, i accomplish things. it's really good. i don't release money that much but i feel good. money can't buy you everything and that's true. nasa bahay lang ako, minsan libot ng mga lugar, ganun lang naman ako eh, simple lang. i don't hang out in star bucks, hindi pa ako nakakaapak sa moa, trinoma at disneyland, hindi ko pa nagagawa ang gusto ko. pero i feel good. sometimes, kailangan mo na ilabas ang potential ng isang bagay o event in such a way na wala kang nasasagasaan at magiging pabor sa iyo ang gagawin mo. hindi nman kailangan na complicated ang gawin mong mga bagay. the simpler that better. ..
pero i've got dreams not only for me but also for family and friends. na one day, makuha ko yung mga pangarap kong gawin, mabigyan ko ng magandang bahay magulang ko, na makagimik sa ibang lugar kasama kaibigan ko.
just set priorities. maybe i am just saying ang mumbling this things. na baka hindi matupad ang mga ito. if else. ayus lang. i think that some one just have better plans for me. but i am really dreaming for something.
just trying to do things
one
step
at
a
time
another tomorrow...
"kailangan mong gawin ang mga bagay na gusto mong gawin sa araw kasi pag dumating ang bukas, it's another day, this day won't come back again. pag natapos ang araw na ito. tapos na. at ang bukas, pagsikat ng araw, isang panibagong araw para gawin ang mga panibagong gawain."
you just have to do things to have an accomplishment for the day.
11: 58 pm; a thursday... counting down before the start of a new year
days are passing by and nagiging full pledged home boy na ako. yung mga araw bago magpasko, naglalagay ako ng tru coat sa sahig. ngayon, ayus. pagpintura naman ang gagawin ko... kung ako masusunod, hindi paint na pang pader ang gagawin ko... ang matagal ko nang gustong gawin eh pinturahan ng landscape ang pader... kaso hindi ko magawa, for the simple reasons na hindi amin itong bahay na ito, at kapag ginawa ko iyon eh mayayari ako at baka bigla akong suntukin sa face..., oh well. magagawa ko din yung balang araw...
ako yung taong may sense of accomplishment. not settling for less but i try my best to do things. ang hindi ko lang talaga magets eh kung bakit may mga taong nagpapahirap ng mga simpleng bagay. why do people make things so complicated in some parts. katulad na lang ng integral calculus. kung sino man ang nakatuklas nito ay walang thrill sa buhay. maybe too stubborn to think for other's sakes. tulad ko ngayon, hindi parin makaligtas sa bangungot ng integral calculus kahit na bakasyon. im having a break, but it is a not so break kasi, if got to set priorities everyday. may household chores at aalis pa si ate zen papuntang province. in a sense. everything is taking shape on it's own. all has a place, with his/her own responsibilities. this is what is call yung tamang break lang, not to lacks and put my gurad down so much. i need responsibilities para kahit na walang pasok, may sense of accomplishments. i am now happy. i think my anxieties wore down a bit. at least it is good.
this christmas, hindi ako naghangad ng material things dahil sa estado namin ngayon, pero naging masaya naman ako lalo na sa mga ginawa ko. nung una, akala ko wala na yung christmas spirit at ang feeling ko panoon eh talagang magigignga malamig ang aking pasko. pero nung nagsisimbang gabi na ako, dumating na yung spirit na hinihintay ko. at least, natrapik lang siya... pero dumating. i am expecting somthing pero lahat ng bagay ay dadating talaga sa takdang panahon. all has time. material things and even those you can see only by heart. all i can say is that. lower your expectations but put your hopes up high as possible. silly but sounds true. real hapiness can be achieved in due time.
days past, i accomplish things. it's really good. i don't release money that much but i feel good. money can't buy you everything and that's true. nasa bahay lang ako, minsan libot ng mga lugar, ganun lang naman ako eh, simple lang. i don't hang out in star bucks, hindi pa ako nakakaapak sa moa, trinoma at disneyland, hindi ko pa nagagawa ang gusto ko. pero i feel good. sometimes, kailangan mo na ilabas ang potential ng isang bagay o event in such a way na wala kang nasasagasaan at magiging pabor sa iyo ang gagawin mo. hindi nman kailangan na complicated ang gawin mong mga bagay. the simpler that better. ..
pero i've got dreams not only for me but also for family and friends. na one day, makuha ko yung mga pangarap kong gawin, mabigyan ko ng magandang bahay magulang ko, na makagimik sa ibang lugar kasama kaibigan ko.
just set priorities. maybe i am just saying ang mumbling this things. na baka hindi matupad ang mga ito. if else. ayus lang. i think that some one just have better plans for me. but i am really dreaming for something.
just trying to do things
one
step
at
a
time
another tomorrow...
"kailangan mong gawin ang mga bagay na gusto mong gawin sa araw kasi pag dumating ang bukas, it's another day, this day won't come back again. pag natapos ang araw na ito. tapos na. at ang bukas, pagsikat ng araw, isang panibagong araw para gawin ang mga panibagong gawain."
you just have to do things to have an accomplishment for the day.
11: 58 pm; a thursday... counting down before the start of a new year
Monday, December 24, 2007
inihaw at ispagetti...
nagumpisa ang araw sa huling simbang gabi... ayus! nakanumpleto ako ng 9 mornings na simbang madaling araw at ang sarap ng filing kapag ganun. pagkauwi, kain ng almusal, then after some time. tulog mode muna, kulang ang tulog eh. tapos nun, ang mind set ko ay talagan magtrabaho para sa araw na ito dahil december 24 na. disperas na ng pasko. so, may plano ako. at hindi ko malaman laman eh kung bakit ba pag nagpaplaano ako eh laging bulilyaso. ayus dahil pagkagising ko dumating sila tita nori kasama si lola sepa. may golly! grabe, kung sa artista at sa mga busing tao... sira ang schedule ko... matagal tagal din silang nagusap usap ni lola, hindi kasma si mama dahil may pasok siya ngayong araw. so natapos ang lahat ng 1:00 pm. patay, sirang sira talaga pati ang mind set ko pero on the other hand, masaya naman din kasi nagkaroon ng isang maliit na family reunion. kahit na nagkaganun ang lahat. nandun parin talaga ang aking mind set... so ayun, tinulungan kong maglaba si ate zen, naglinis ng bahay, nagpakintab ng sahig, nagluto at nag ihaw. medyo marami din at nakakapagod pero kinaya ko pa naman kahit na nandito ako ngayon at bumabagsak na ang akin mata dahil sa antok. masaya kami dito sa pag prepare at sa pagkain ng aming noche buena. all indifferences was taken away by the spirit of christmas. everyone was happy.
what's good today. all indifferences was taken away. all was happy and all was good. i also finished simbang gabi; it's a good omen. giving is really better than recieving. ang paminsanang pag tanggap eh magbibigay sa iyo ng sense of appreciation of small things that anyone has put to effort para mabili at maibigay sa iyo. masaya dahil lahat ng mga nagcacaroling (kahit na yung iba eh pumipiyok) eh nagenjoy sa pagkakaroling; ang masama lang eh yung ibang mga bata ginagawang business ang pagcacaroling... all strength is gone... but all was worth it... im tired. i am sleepy.
the important thing is. => sa pag aakala ko eh wala ang christmas spirit sa akin... yun pala, naghahanda para mag improve ang aking perception about christmas. ang pasko ay para talaga daw sa bata... it's just a grown up's perception about christmas... christmas is for everybody. no exeptions...
ang spirit of christmas... it varies kung paano ito i celebrate.
the concept is just simple..
being contented and happy for what ever you had and whatever you've done to others..
merry christmas to you... who just finished reading this...
it's now1:06 am in my clock december 25, 2007... gots to sleep... magsisimba pa ako bukas
gud morning
what's good today. all indifferences was taken away. all was happy and all was good. i also finished simbang gabi; it's a good omen. giving is really better than recieving. ang paminsanang pag tanggap eh magbibigay sa iyo ng sense of appreciation of small things that anyone has put to effort para mabili at maibigay sa iyo. masaya dahil lahat ng mga nagcacaroling (kahit na yung iba eh pumipiyok) eh nagenjoy sa pagkakaroling; ang masama lang eh yung ibang mga bata ginagawang business ang pagcacaroling... all strength is gone... but all was worth it... im tired. i am sleepy.
the important thing is. => sa pag aakala ko eh wala ang christmas spirit sa akin... yun pala, naghahanda para mag improve ang aking perception about christmas. ang pasko ay para talaga daw sa bata... it's just a grown up's perception about christmas... christmas is for everybody. no exeptions...
ang spirit of christmas... it varies kung paano ito i celebrate.
the concept is just simple..
being contented and happy for what ever you had and whatever you've done to others..
merry christmas to you... who just finished reading this...
it's now1:06 am in my clock december 25, 2007... gots to sleep... magsisimba pa ako bukas
gud morning
Sunday, December 23, 2007
art of compromising
ngayong, araw ay first sunday ni lola sa bahay after a long time. separate ang pagsimba ngayon dahil last week, kasama si mic at si mama. today, hindi kaya dahil nag christmas party si mama kagabi. kabado nga kami kagabi dito sa bahay dahil biglang dumugo ang ilong ni micmic, ang asar pa duon ay wala si mama sa bahay kaya hindi namin alam ang gagawin. so yun lang (parang walang sense ah, talagang nagkwento lang). so ngayon, as usual simbang gabi kami ni ate zen. ang pinagkaiba lang ay kasama namin si ate riza which is kapitbahay namin. nagising ako ng 4:30, nagmadali na nga kami sa pagbihis para umabot. masaya naman kasi umabot kami before mag reading. pag katapos namin mag simba, namalengke kami dito malapit sa amin (walking distance). sa pamamalengke, nakita ko si dr. santos ang prof ng phil. literature, namamalengke din kasama ang kanyan butihing asawa. angtagal mamili ni mama, parang gusto niya hahawakan muna lahat ng gusto niyang bilihin, pipindutin, at ookrayin kapag minsan. ganyan siya mag exagerate ng ' worth of money '. naisip ko lang na nakakabadtrip yun sa part ng nagbebenta, parang binabastos yung binibili mo. kahit na sinasabi nilang the customer is always right, meron din namang karaatang ang nagbebenta at ang kanyang binebenta na respetuhin. all needs respect. medyo madami rin ang napamili namin so mabigat dalhin pauwi. pagdating, ako nag luto ng almusal. sinangag, itlog, luncheon meat, ulam kagabi. yan ang menu kaninang umaga. ehdi kumain kami lahat. kung tutuusin, ayus ang lahat. para sa akin. natulog ako ng tanghali dahil sa simbang madaling araw. paggising ko umalis sila mama, lola at micmic para magsimba. naasara ako nung nalaman ko na kinontrata ni mama ang erpats ni miko (kapitbahay namin). ang sabi ko, bakit naman yun pa? pahabol ni ate zen eh, hindi ba alam ni mama na hindi sila pagbabayarin nun... grabe! on my side, nakakahiya yun kasi binulabog pa nila ang tatay ni miko para lang makapagsimba sila. pahabol pa ni ate zen na nagsesenti pa si lola nung palabas ng bahay. na mahina na daw siya at marami pang iba na nakakainis. dumating sila galing sa simbahan. at un nga ang nangyari. hindi nga sila pinagbayad. isang sampal!... magluluto na ako ng magyaya si mama na pumunta sa puregold walking distance parin sa amin. mag grogrocery daw. ... grocery...grocery..grocery. ayun! pagkatapos. pumipili siya ng dvd player. matagal na niyang sinasabi na bibili siya. pero wala namang nangyari as always. all things na sinabi niya, bihira mangyari mga 1 out of 20 ang natutupad.! yan ang ayaw ko sa pagpaplano lalo na sa art ko dahil kapag ako nagplano eh laging nabubulilyaso. i signifies na talagang totoo ang saying na somethings are better not said.
2 things that people, in my world, have.
first is ' the point of letting go'... ito ang nakakaasar na ugali. si lola, hindi niya matanggap na mahina na siya. this is one of the argument na inumpisahan ko nung papunta kami sa puregold. in my point, all has end, no one can erase it. kailangan lang nag gawin mo ang to the extent na makakaya mo pero hindi yung makakaperwisyo ka ng ibang tao. ang akin, buti sana kung may sasakyan kami na sarili, pwede naming maisama si lola sa pagsisimba. eh kaso ang masama dyan eh wala kaming sariling sasakyan at tignan mo pa yung perwisyo na nagawa sa erpats ni miko. sa akin, kahit ako na lang ang magbaba ng tv (isa lang kasi ang tv namin sa bahay, nasa taas pa iyon. hindi makaakyat si lola ... so... gets mo na yun...) every sunday para makapanood si lola ng mass on tv, it also the purpose of the mass in the tv. the intention of mama is good. the problem is that she is taking granted all the other thing around her. she's compromising the sake of others. it's good pero nawawala sa isip niya na nakakaperwisyo si mama ng ibang tao. to lola naman, she is 90 years old. im proud of it, malakas siya nung medyo bata pa siya pero ngayon. kailangan niyang magising sa katotohanan na mahina na siya. all things has an end. even strength.
next is the art of promising things. si mama, laging plano. i understand pero ang akin lang eh wag siyang magsasalita ng hindi siya sigurado. maraming beses na niyang ginagawa ang mga bagay na ito. i admit na at times eh ganito ako pero but not as much as mama. pagnangako yan. malabong mangyari at ang masaklap nun eh laging nangyayari... manhid lang siya masyado kaya hindi niya alam na nakakadagdag sa frustrations ko.
masaklap mang isipin pero ganito sa bahay, people are compromising others, all they want is for themselves only.
hanggang buntong hininga na lang ako... i can manage. i think. nagpapasalamt parin ako dahil kahit ganito. i can stand the heat. maybe. kayang kong makipag sabayan sa abot ng akin makakaya. pero hindi ko alam kung hanggang kelan ko gagawin ito.
all i can wish for is for the better. that i may step back from the edge, take a deep breath. that everything will be good.
someday.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
trucoat
just finished the application of trucoat to our floor... mas naging bahay kahit konti ang aming tinitirhan. nakakapagod kasi ang hirap i apply dahil yung wax eh medyo madikit sa floor. para ngang nasabugan ng kung ano ang akin kamy pagkatapos kasi puno ng wax ang kamay ko... well it's all worthed. maganda naman ang kinalabasa at bukas ay kailangan na lang mabunot yung floor para kumintab. sobrang nakakapagod ang araw, pag katapos kong magawa iyon, nagsundo kay mama. tapos naglaro ulit ng soccer at nangaroling. ayus nga kasi kumita kami ng tig40 pesos sa ilang bahay na pinuntahan namin... it's a very tiring day at kasabay nito ang kaliwa't kanan na sermon galing sa iba't ibang tao...
pagod ka na nga tapos bunganga pa ang sasalubong sa iyo... masakit na nga ang katawan ko dahil sa laro kahapon tapos eto pa... but then, for the last task for the day, is just washing dishes na pinaka ayaw ko sa lahat. many virtues play against my mind, i don't know. this always happen to me when my mind is idle. it's good actually. it's giving a good aura to me specially in times of this.
patience, is more than counting one to ten. it requires a great sense of imagination to divert your frustrations. it helps in handling delicate things. patience, is a hard practice... subukan mo ng malaman mo.
hardwork... i don't know if this is a virtue pero, this thing, for me, gives a sense of fulfillment. simple things in life are much appreciated with this. all things require work, it all has fulfillment but it's up to you to appreciate it or not.
lastly... sense of appreciation... this helps in having a good time in things the you do...
great power comes with great responsibility... yes it's true. virtues are power, and you have the responsibility to much more understand things, using this that only some can understand... in this point. all remains to you... to be responsible enough to use this.
medyo may amats na ako sa sobrang pagod.
inaantok na ako. kailangan na matulog para makabawi para bukas... magpipintura naman ako ng isang part ng bahay namin... ayus...
sinusulit na ata nila mama ang vacation ko...
im a student... part time boy...
but im doing this all for charity... walang bayad... dito lang sa bahay namin
bawal ang arkila...
pagod ka na nga tapos bunganga pa ang sasalubong sa iyo... masakit na nga ang katawan ko dahil sa laro kahapon tapos eto pa... but then, for the last task for the day, is just washing dishes na pinaka ayaw ko sa lahat. many virtues play against my mind, i don't know. this always happen to me when my mind is idle. it's good actually. it's giving a good aura to me specially in times of this.
patience, is more than counting one to ten. it requires a great sense of imagination to divert your frustrations. it helps in handling delicate things. patience, is a hard practice... subukan mo ng malaman mo.
hardwork... i don't know if this is a virtue pero, this thing, for me, gives a sense of fulfillment. simple things in life are much appreciated with this. all things require work, it all has fulfillment but it's up to you to appreciate it or not.
lastly... sense of appreciation... this helps in having a good time in things the you do...
great power comes with great responsibility... yes it's true. virtues are power, and you have the responsibility to much more understand things, using this that only some can understand... in this point. all remains to you... to be responsible enough to use this.
medyo may amats na ako sa sobrang pagod.
inaantok na ako. kailangan na matulog para makabawi para bukas... magpipintura naman ako ng isang part ng bahay namin... ayus...
sinusulit na ata nila mama ang vacation ko...
im a student... part time boy...
but im doing this all for charity... walang bayad... dito lang sa bahay namin
bawal ang arkila...
Friday, December 21, 2007
my 105 truths bitin edition
MY 105 TRUTHS(bitin edition)
1. real name - Aldren Thomas
2.
3. hometown - san juan metro manila
4.
5. male or female - male
6. elementary - aquinas school
7. middle name - Ricohermozo
8. high school - don bosco technical college
9. eye color - darkest brown
10. hair color - Black
11. favorite number - 70
12.
13. favorite drink - tubig
14. favorite song - nothing in particular
15. are you a health freak - hindi naman
16. height - 5'4 ata... hindi ko sure eh
17.
18. do you like yourself - depende sa okasyon
19. piercings - wala
21. righty or lefty - righty.
FIRSTS
22. first surgery - appendix... batang incomplete na ako
23. first piercings - none
24. first best friend - lahat.
25. first award - hindi ko alam eh
26. first sport - piko, habulan, tagutaguan, black 123, patintero
27. first pet - caterpillar
28. first vacation - province. marinduque
29. first teacher - si inay
30. first crush - si... hindi parin niya alam hanggang ngayon eh
31. first phone number - ayun lang.... may memory gap na ata ako eh
32.
33.
34.
35.
LASTS
36. last song you listened to - masaya (piano version)- bamboo feat. ria osorio
37. last out of state - never had one
38. last plane ride - hindi ko alam kung nakasakay na ako dun eh
39. last vacation - antipolo
40. last fight - nung logic, kalaban ko si keso
41. last message on friendster - jav. 'read...'
42. last car ride - can't remember, always ride a bus...
43. last thing you bought - ticket ng bus
44 . last thing you ate - dinner.
45. last thing you drank - tubig
46. last on your top friends - wala naman...
47. last movie you saw - transformers pa ata
48.
PRESENT
49. eating - kakatapos lang eh
50. drinking - wala pa naman
51. im about to - sleep and post this to multiply
52. listening to - silence
53. waiting for - something
54. wearing - tshirt and shorts and shempre underwear
55. want kids - oo naman
56. want to get married - hindi pa ngayon
57. where do you want to live? - i don;t know either
58. where do you want to go to college? - college na ako pero sa na sa uste
59. no question - watta question... the answer is yes
60. how many kids? - 2
61. still talk to parents? - depends on the argument
62. want to be rich? - sana
63. want to be famous? - pwede rin
64. will there be flying cars? - possible
65. bout underground living? - pwede rin
66. are these questions crazy? - yung iba nakakaasar
67. careers in mind - chef, engineer, teacher
WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX
68. lips or eyes - parehas lang
69. hugs or kisses - hindi ko alam yang mga yan eh
70. shorter or taller - shorter
71. tan skinned or light - kahit ano basta bagay sa kanya
72. romantic or spontaneous - ????
73. dark or light hair - dark
74. muscular or normal - normal
75. hook ups or relationship - relationships.
76. similar to you or different - different.
77. trouble maker or hesitant - neither
HAVE YOU EVER-
78. kissed a stranger - no
79. drank alcohol - yes... isoprophyll
80. broken a bone - nope
81.
82. broken someones heart - i dunno
83. turned someone down - yes
84. done drugs - never
85. liked a friend as more than a friend - i don't know either
DO YOU BELIEVE IN
86. yourself - there is some regret but yes
87. miracles - oo naman
88. Easter Bunny - hindi
89. Santa Claus - ay hindi ba?
90. Sex on the first date - nope
91. angels - yesyes
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY
92. Is there one or more people you want to be with right now? - oo naman
93. Are you on Friendster a lot? - nope
94. Are you cool? - i don't know
LASTS
95. Text message - divine
96. Recieved call- james
97. Call made - lex
98. comment on friendster - pareng mario
99. Missed Call - wala pa naman
100. Person you hung out with - james, lex, melwin, teddy, keso, herwin, urot
101. You hugged - wala
103. You talked to - ate zen
104. You slapped - wala naman
105. Said I love you to - wala pa
ninakaw ko galing kay caramelstars. nagpaalam ako bago nakawin... salamat!
1. real name - Aldren Thomas
2.
3. hometown - san juan metro manila
4.
5. male or female - male
6. elementary - aquinas school
7. middle name - Ricohermozo
8. high school - don bosco technical college
9. eye color - darkest brown
10. hair color - Black
11. favorite number - 70
12.
13. favorite drink - tubig
14. favorite song - nothing in particular
15. are you a health freak - hindi naman
16. height - 5'4 ata... hindi ko sure eh
17.
18. do you like yourself - depende sa okasyon
19. piercings - wala
21. righty or lefty - righty.
FIRSTS
22. first surgery - appendix... batang incomplete na ako
23. first piercings - none
24. first best friend - lahat.
25. first award - hindi ko alam eh
26. first sport - piko, habulan, tagutaguan, black 123, patintero
27. first pet - caterpillar
28. first vacation - province. marinduque
29. first teacher - si inay
30. first crush - si... hindi parin niya alam hanggang ngayon eh
31. first phone number - ayun lang.... may memory gap na ata ako eh
32.
33.
34.
35.
LASTS
36. last song you listened to - masaya (piano version)- bamboo feat. ria osorio
37. last out of state - never had one
38. last plane ride - hindi ko alam kung nakasakay na ako dun eh
39. last vacation - antipolo
40. last fight - nung logic, kalaban ko si keso
41. last message on friendster - jav. 'read...'
42. last car ride - can't remember, always ride a bus...
43. last thing you bought - ticket ng bus
44 . last thing you ate - dinner.
45. last thing you drank - tubig
46. last on your top friends - wala naman...
47. last movie you saw - transformers pa ata
48.
PRESENT
49. eating - kakatapos lang eh
50. drinking - wala pa naman
51. im about to - sleep and post this to multiply
52. listening to - silence
53. waiting for - something
54. wearing - tshirt and shorts and shempre underwear
55. want kids - oo naman
56. want to get married - hindi pa ngayon
57. where do you want to live? - i don;t know either
58. where do you want to go to college? - college na ako pero sa na sa uste
59. no question - watta question... the answer is yes
60. how many kids? - 2
61. still talk to parents? - depends on the argument
62. want to be rich? - sana
63. want to be famous? - pwede rin
64. will there be flying cars? - possible
65. bout underground living? - pwede rin
66. are these questions crazy? - yung iba nakakaasar
67. careers in mind - chef, engineer, teacher
WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX
68. lips or eyes - parehas lang
69. hugs or kisses - hindi ko alam yang mga yan eh
70. shorter or taller - shorter
71. tan skinned or light - kahit ano basta bagay sa kanya
72. romantic or spontaneous - ????
73. dark or light hair - dark
74. muscular or normal - normal
75. hook ups or relationship - relationships.
76. similar to you or different - different.
77. trouble maker or hesitant - neither
HAVE YOU EVER-
78. kissed a stranger - no
79. drank alcohol - yes... isoprophyll
80. broken a bone - nope
81.
82. broken someones heart - i dunno
83. turned someone down - yes
84. done drugs - never
85. liked a friend as more than a friend - i don't know either
DO YOU BELIEVE IN
86. yourself - there is some regret but yes
87. miracles - oo naman
88. Easter Bunny - hindi
89. Santa Claus - ay hindi ba?
90. Sex on the first date - nope
91. angels - yesyes
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY
92. Is there one or more people you want to be with right now? - oo naman
93. Are you on Friendster a lot? - nope
94. Are you cool? - i don't know
LASTS
95. Text message - divine
96. Recieved call- james
97. Call made - lex
98. comment on friendster - pareng mario
99. Missed Call - wala pa naman
100. Person you hung out with - james, lex, melwin, teddy, keso, herwin, urot
101. You hugged - wala
103. You talked to - ate zen
104. You slapped - wala naman
105. Said I love you to - wala pa
ninakaw ko galing kay caramelstars. nagpaalam ako bago nakawin... salamat!
sojourn
kahapon. december 20, saya, unang araw ng walang pasok. gumising ng tanghali at pupungas-pungas na naghilamos, nag mumog at nag almusal. tapos nun, sinulit ko muna ang unang araw ng christmas break. sundo na ako kay micmic kasi 10 am ang dismissal nila kahapon. nung papunta na ako sa skul ni micmic, may umihip sa akin na simoy ng hangin. my golly pasko na pala. kaya maaga ang uwian ni micmic eh kasi christmas break nila. pagdating ko sa skul ni mic, nagulat ako kasi may malaking regalo sa tabi niya pero sabi ko, kay micmic kaya yun? pagtawag ko sa kanya, bigla niyang kinuha ang regalong malaki. sa kanya nga. nanalo daw siya sa raffle ng skul, and the prize is a turbo broiler. tapos hindi ko alam kung bakit kami nag super trip ng kapatid ko... lakaton kami papuntang bahay. christmas na nga... kahapo ko lang narealize. pagdating pa eh, tinulungan ko sa pag balot si ate zen... pagkatapos nun. konting higa tapos, trabaho na. tumawag ngayon si tita lulu, sabi daw eh pupunta na si lola dito sa bahay. akala ko konti lang ang dala , yun pala eh halos mapuno yung kalahati ng sala namin. ayus, isang balik bayan pero nanggaling lang sa antipolo. so, naglagay na ako ng wax, floor wax to be exact..... yung nasa lata ng pintura... meron nun, at kulay red pa! pampaganda ng sahig namin na panget. baka kasi may pag asa pa eh. tapos nun. dumating nga si lola, medyo nainis ako sa dami ng kanyang "bagahe" pero masaya din kasi tagal ko nang gustong puntaan si lola sa antipolo pero hindi naman magawa. walang time at short sa budget. so ayun. isa pang dumating kahapon ay si ate jeni (hindi ko sure yung spelling...), sumama siya sa amin sa pagsimbang gabi. nag paturo rin si micmic sa akin na mag chess... she's got talent, now, it depends on her attitude. talagang maganda naman ang araw ko for these reasons... sana ganun lang lagi.
ngayon naman, it's friday, maganda ang sikat ng araw at sulit dahil, scheduled laro namin ng basketball ng team kaplogs. grabe ang tagal ng hintayan sa may simbahan. ang dating planong pagpunta kila lex, nadivert na lang sa oz quadrangle. laro mode kasama si urot, lex, james, ako, keso, teddy, melwin, herwin... laro to the max kami at enjoy kahit na maraming casualties. saya naman at sabi daw eh baka maulit daw yun, next year na. nakakapagod nga ngayong araw eh, tapos nun, nagluto pa ako, nasermonan dahil sa sinaing nanaman. minsan nakakasawa, pero ayus din naman kasi ang pangit naman kapag walang thrill. yan ang na realize ko ngayon, habang nagtatype ng blog. na ang buhay, maeron talagang mga nangyayari out of hand, yan ang nagbibigay ng thrill sa buhay, ang problema. pag wala ka kasing problema, balang araw masasawa ka rin sa buhay mo at ikaw ang gagawa ng sariling mong problema. it's a challenge, not suffering, eventhough there are times na sobrang hirap ng buhay at susuko ka na, then something comes along to help you, to remind na you are the most brilliant living creature that had been made by god. life is just life but then; always you have a choice, a chance to be what you want to be. nasa iyo lang talaga if you will grab that opportunity. if you will settle for some, or if you will live you're life a little bit less ordinary...
im creating this log book, just like some bank, it's an investment that in some day i will earn from it. im doing this as a ritual, maybe to release some burdens and furthermore, to record events that in due time will be forgotten, i like to take pictures but sadly i don't have camera so it's the only way i can share what i see today, maybe in not such an ordinary eye. to, also share what i realize about life. that in some way it can connect to others.
tama na ang drama, maghuhugas pa ako ng pinggan kaya tama na muna ito... bukas nman.
....
ngayon naman, it's friday, maganda ang sikat ng araw at sulit dahil, scheduled laro namin ng basketball ng team kaplogs. grabe ang tagal ng hintayan sa may simbahan. ang dating planong pagpunta kila lex, nadivert na lang sa oz quadrangle. laro mode kasama si urot, lex, james, ako, keso, teddy, melwin, herwin... laro to the max kami at enjoy kahit na maraming casualties. saya naman at sabi daw eh baka maulit daw yun, next year na. nakakapagod nga ngayong araw eh, tapos nun, nagluto pa ako, nasermonan dahil sa sinaing nanaman. minsan nakakasawa, pero ayus din naman kasi ang pangit naman kapag walang thrill. yan ang na realize ko ngayon, habang nagtatype ng blog. na ang buhay, maeron talagang mga nangyayari out of hand, yan ang nagbibigay ng thrill sa buhay, ang problema. pag wala ka kasing problema, balang araw masasawa ka rin sa buhay mo at ikaw ang gagawa ng sariling mong problema. it's a challenge, not suffering, eventhough there are times na sobrang hirap ng buhay at susuko ka na, then something comes along to help you, to remind na you are the most brilliant living creature that had been made by god. life is just life but then; always you have a choice, a chance to be what you want to be. nasa iyo lang talaga if you will grab that opportunity. if you will settle for some, or if you will live you're life a little bit less ordinary...
im creating this log book, just like some bank, it's an investment that in some day i will earn from it. im doing this as a ritual, maybe to release some burdens and furthermore, to record events that in due time will be forgotten, i like to take pictures but sadly i don't have camera so it's the only way i can share what i see today, maybe in not such an ordinary eye. to, also share what i realize about life. that in some way it can connect to others.
tama na ang drama, maghuhugas pa ako ng pinggan kaya tama na muna ito... bukas nman.
....
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
possibilities... a picture perfect fitting
gumising nanaman ng isang araw na masaya. pumasok ako ng maaga kahit na walang vincentian studies at philippine literature. tapos next subject ay integral calculus... sa pag kakaalam ng lahat ng mga kaclase ko, may pasok pa bukas at mag ququiz pa. nababadtrip nga kami kasi akala ko na hindi naging bata si mam at wala rin siyang balak mag pasko. ina-nounce niya kanina na walang pasok bukas, merry christmas na daw. ang masiste niyan, bwenas ang aming first quiz sa kanya, unang meeting namin sa 2008.. walan joe... japunks talaga si mam.. pero at least. hindi na siya bitter at naramdaman na rin niya sa wakas na magpapasko na. tapos break namin. kain tapos laro kami ng nfs-most wanted... ayus din naman. tapos, physics lab na, parang tinamad na rin si mam dahil pasko na ... pinatritripan namin si marian kanina. hehehe, lakas tama namin kanina, siya lang kasi ang kaisa-isang babae sa group six sa physics lab kaya ganun... initiation para maging one of the boys na... pinagexperiment niya kami ng sandali tapos uwian na!!! ang saya naman nitong araw na ito... sana ganito na lang lagi at no worries. bago kami umuwi, punta muna kami sa sm at naghanap si lex ng tshirt... nagkahiwahiwalay na at niyaya ako ni lex para mag laro sa quantum... intial d kaso i lost count dun sa standing namin. pero sa huling laban namin talo ako... i admit defeat! maganda ang laban exciting... sa susunod...!
pauwi na kami, sumakay ng bus... dun na ako nagumpisang mabadtrip! tagal ng bus... trapik kasi sa daan! ginagawa ko na ang lahat para maaliw ako... walang epektib...kaya tinulugan ko na lang ang aking pagkainip... pag kagising ko, hindi ko alam kung ano ba ang dumapo sa akin para maalala ko ang philippine history class ko... nagkaroon kasi ako ng 0 (zero) na grade sa lecheng klaseng iyon eh. ang prof namin dun ay si mam padrilanan (pasensya na kung may ibang ms. padrilanan na makakabasa nito... kung hindi po kayo nag turo sa adamson at biglang umalis sa university... hindi po kayo iyon..) na walang ginawa kung hindi mag pareport... wala naman siyang ginawa doon kung hindi umabsent ng umabsent... binigyan niya ako ng zero grade sa subject niya... tinanong ko ng maayos kung bakiut nagkaganoon ang aking record. hindi naman ako nagkulang sa kanya... sabi niya aayusin daw niya... tapos bigla na lang na hindi siya pumasok... ayun... kaya hanggang ngayon nagdudusa ako sa kanyang ginawa. siya ang may kasalanan nito, hindi naman ako nagkulang sa kanyang subject, pero ano ginawa niya sa akin... sa tingin ko, hindi naman ako nararapat na makakuha ng ganoong paghihirap lalo na galing sa kanya. wala manlang pasubali basta umalis at nagiwan sa akin ng isang malaking bangungot na hindi maalis. hindi ko nga alam kung ano ang magagawa ko sa kanya kapag nakita ko ulit siya sa kung saan. medyo naiinis na rin ako kasi ang tagal tagal ko ng inaayos ang problemang ito sa social sciences department pero sa hindi ko alam na rason eh hindi parin naaayos dito... matagal na akong naghihintay at nagpapasensya... summer pa last year, inaayos ko na yan at hanggang ngayon, mag susummer nanaman, baka hindi pa ayus ito... ang ikinakakaba ko lang ay baka ma terminate ang kasong ito at ipaulit sa akin... HINDI KO UULITIN YANG SUBJECT NA YAN!!! BANGUNGOT ANG NARANASAN KO DYAN!..
well. kinausap ko si inay about this and tanggap ko ang sasabihin niya... ang aming argumento ay naglead sa mas malaki pa. well, we set yung mga possible solutions for our problems... as of now, it is alpha tested.
papasok ba bukas o hindi... yan ang tanong ngayon. bahala na pag may papasok bukas... sama ako...
all problems has a solution, nasa iyo nalang yun kung i-mamaterialize mo yung solutions mo or you will let your problems as always problems and run away from them...
lahat nakasalalay sa iyo at walang relation ang destiny dyan or some sort...
it's all in you...
depende kung paano mo titirahin ng head shot ang problema,.,
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
a secret
ngayong araw, it's a good start, gumising ako ng umaga naligo, ginising ang kapatid ko, nag plantsa ng polo na susuotin ko. kumain at umalis ng bahay. papunta sa sakayan namin ng bus, mga 50 feet away, nakita kong may dumating na bus, at tinakbo ko ito para makasakay. may exam kami kasi sa physics, hindi ako nagkapag aral ng mabuti dahil sa hindi ko alam na mga rason, tinatamad ako. talagang tinatamad ako at hindi ko alam kung nagbreak down ba ako o ano? hindi naman ako dating ganito pero, hindi lang talaga alam.
pagkaexam, intergral calculus, ang lahat ay nag bargain na kay mam para walang pasok sa friday, wala pala talagang pasok sa friday, sa thursday, at susulitin pa ni mam dahil may quiz. i don't know,., hindi ko lang talaga naaappreciate ang ginagawa ni mam dahil parang nagtuturo siya para maykapagturo lang, wala yung sense ng accomplishment. basta magtuturo siya at wala siyang pakialam kung papasa ba ang mga estudyante niya o hindi. hindi ko alam.
pagkatapos ng integral calculus, logic. may short quiz kami. saya ng quiz.,. madali lang, sabi ko nga buti pa kung ganito ang professor ko, well, meron talagang kung ano na nagbibigay ng identity sa mga nagtuturo, baka ang truth sa likod ng pagtuturo eh hindi yung may maipasok ka sa utak ng estudyante mo pero yung ma-explain mo ng maayos, without giving the stress. some are born teachers, some want to teach, at ang iba, it's really a profession, period. hindi naman 'bias' , nagugustuhan ko lang ang nagtuturo pag may nakukuha ako, o kahit na wala akong makuha eh gaganahan ka sa pagaaral. hindi puro stress ang nakukuha mo, pagkatapos ng isang lesson, assignment then next lesson. nagiging cycle lang. and it ends there, kapag pasado ka o bagsak.
break, kain kami sa maan's courtesy of lex anthony paloma. birthday nya ngayon eh. nilibre kami ng lunch... then, autocad, tapos tambay sa labas ng cl22. tawanan, chitchat, lex, ako , teddy, tina, at jamie . tapos umakyat kaming lahat sa 4th floor, may kanya kanyang agenda. sinabihan namin si james na maaga ang uwian namin, pinauna na kami kasi 2 pa naman ang clase niya. nagkahiwahiwalay na tapos, umuwi na kami ni lex. ang tagal naming mag intay ng bus. grabe. konti ng mga bus na dumadaan. wala kaming ginawa ni lex sa paghihintay, kaya nag kantahan na lang kami. super trip.
roaming around. thinking for awhile. then a certain thought came.
"it is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye. it is the time important you have wasted for your something or someone that makes the it so important."
everyone i tired of doing sorts of things. it is not noticed because many are capable of hiding it very good. everybody says that what he or she is saying the truth. iba-ibang perception yan. pero, it runs down on a thing... the question is on what you want to and what you believe. somethings are percieved by our senses. pwedeng totoo, pwedeng hindi. nasa iyo na iyon kung ano ang paniniwalaan mo at kung ano ang gusto mong gawin sa sarili mong pangarap. as of now. i don't know what i want. abnormal siguro ako. hindi ko lang alam. basta im finding my inspiration. to give light
a flower
someone that i can waste my time.
pagkaexam, intergral calculus, ang lahat ay nag bargain na kay mam para walang pasok sa friday, wala pala talagang pasok sa friday, sa thursday, at susulitin pa ni mam dahil may quiz. i don't know,., hindi ko lang talaga naaappreciate ang ginagawa ni mam dahil parang nagtuturo siya para maykapagturo lang, wala yung sense ng accomplishment. basta magtuturo siya at wala siyang pakialam kung papasa ba ang mga estudyante niya o hindi. hindi ko alam.
pagkatapos ng integral calculus, logic. may short quiz kami. saya ng quiz.,. madali lang, sabi ko nga buti pa kung ganito ang professor ko, well, meron talagang kung ano na nagbibigay ng identity sa mga nagtuturo, baka ang truth sa likod ng pagtuturo eh hindi yung may maipasok ka sa utak ng estudyante mo pero yung ma-explain mo ng maayos, without giving the stress. some are born teachers, some want to teach, at ang iba, it's really a profession, period. hindi naman 'bias' , nagugustuhan ko lang ang nagtuturo pag may nakukuha ako, o kahit na wala akong makuha eh gaganahan ka sa pagaaral. hindi puro stress ang nakukuha mo, pagkatapos ng isang lesson, assignment then next lesson. nagiging cycle lang. and it ends there, kapag pasado ka o bagsak.
break, kain kami sa maan's courtesy of lex anthony paloma. birthday nya ngayon eh. nilibre kami ng lunch... then, autocad, tapos tambay sa labas ng cl22. tawanan, chitchat, lex, ako , teddy, tina, at jamie . tapos umakyat kaming lahat sa 4th floor, may kanya kanyang agenda. sinabihan namin si james na maaga ang uwian namin, pinauna na kami kasi 2 pa naman ang clase niya. nagkahiwahiwalay na tapos, umuwi na kami ni lex. ang tagal naming mag intay ng bus. grabe. konti ng mga bus na dumadaan. wala kaming ginawa ni lex sa paghihintay, kaya nag kantahan na lang kami. super trip.
roaming around. thinking for awhile. then a certain thought came.
"it is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye. it is the time important you have wasted for your something or someone that makes the it so important."
everyone i tired of doing sorts of things. it is not noticed because many are capable of hiding it very good. everybody says that what he or she is saying the truth. iba-ibang perception yan. pero, it runs down on a thing... the question is on what you want to and what you believe. somethings are percieved by our senses. pwedeng totoo, pwedeng hindi. nasa iyo na iyon kung ano ang paniniwalaan mo at kung ano ang gusto mong gawin sa sarili mong pangarap. as of now. i don't know what i want. abnormal siguro ako. hindi ko lang alam. basta im finding my inspiration. to give light
a flower
someone that i can waste my time.
Monday, December 17, 2007
character...
naisahan nanaman ako ng matindi kong kalaban... ang calculus. i did all the preparations needed to pass., nagrebyu naman ako ng maayos. pero bakit ganun. mahal ko si integral calculus ero hindi niya ako mahal. parang isang masaklap na lovestory naming dalawa. pang asar... bago mag i.c. lax pa ako, tapos nung dumating yung test paper, ayun, stun ako... walan joe... pang asar, sana hindi na lang pala ako nagrebyu... sabi ni jemil, prelim pa lang naman eh.... ngayon tumindi pa ang doubts ko kung papasa pa ba ako... sabi nila kahit saan, at kahit kailan, parating may chance, na sa iyo na lang kung kukuhain mo. prelim pa nga lang... may mid term at finals pa. meron pa rin namang summer na sana hindi ko na abutin... grabeng pasakit yan...
may nabubuong perception sa utak ko na ang calculus ay ginawa lang para pahirapan ang mga bagay-bagay. tinuklas yan ng mga taong walang magawa sa buhay. tipong natuklas yan ng mga taong tambay sa kalye... kaasar talaga... hindi pa rin ako mawawalan ng pagasa... liligawan ko parin til the end si i.c. and maybe, someday, well be happy together.... OYEH!
no doubts about it. bagsak ako sa i.c. ngayong prelim. patay tayo dyan.
nagkakaroon na ata ako ng inferiority complex, dahil parang may mga certain things sinasabi ng aking mahiwagang thoughts, 'hindi mo kaya yan' at yan ang nakakaasar. i don't know kung ano ang makakatulong sa akin para maging maayos ang lahat... im looking for my inspiration, maybe she will change me, maybe i need her now at nakakasawa ng maghintay, baka rin hindi pa ngayon. bubulukin ko ang sarili ko sa kahihintay. dadating din yan, ng hindi daw inaasahan. talagang 'fate' lang ang hinihintay ko... sana wag itong matulad sa integral calculus.
things are to be used and people are to be loved. that's a basic concept. but then alterations come. things now are loved and people are used. saya ng buhay,., kung ang mga babae eh naghihintay sa kanilang prnce charming. maybe ako? hinihintay ko ang panahon na makita ko ang ililigtas ko.
now, i just want some peace of mind. to release all the stress that i am feeling,., kailangan ko ng break. to realize my potentials and get back to the track. grades, they are figures that all matured people specially old people look. now i don't realize why? bakit sa school, walang grade ang character, at puro calculus, physics and other subjects lang ang meron. bakit may mga bagay-bagay na hindi maapreciate ng tao tulad ng effort na isinasagad ng taong desperado. figures, when we we're young. senseless yan, all matters is that we've done our best, and that's the best that we can do. somethings are taken for granted. and as a child we tried so hard and yet even we fail, there has a sense of accomplishment. then we wake sometime, figures make the world move. and now, all things are not appreciated. no sense of enjoyement but work work work. maybe character is something that old people are afraid to look, and that's why they don't grade it. figures, grades are now the main in finding your job and bosses don't look for character. maybe that's why problems step up because, people don't want character, all they want is figures. that, maybe also a reason for some disparity among people. people are rational beings. it has also it's own immaterial essence. making every peple different with each other. others like figures, several choose for character.
character makes a person to have a substance.
not figures.
but in the end it's your choice, if you choose between figures and character or even both of them.
it is just an output of a playful mind on things
time to move on, may exam pa ako sa physics bukas at 'quiz' sa logic. iagdasal ninyo na sana pumasa ako... hehehe
may nabubuong perception sa utak ko na ang calculus ay ginawa lang para pahirapan ang mga bagay-bagay. tinuklas yan ng mga taong walang magawa sa buhay. tipong natuklas yan ng mga taong tambay sa kalye... kaasar talaga... hindi pa rin ako mawawalan ng pagasa... liligawan ko parin til the end si i.c. and maybe, someday, well be happy together.... OYEH!
no doubts about it. bagsak ako sa i.c. ngayong prelim. patay tayo dyan.
nagkakaroon na ata ako ng inferiority complex, dahil parang may mga certain things sinasabi ng aking mahiwagang thoughts, 'hindi mo kaya yan' at yan ang nakakaasar. i don't know kung ano ang makakatulong sa akin para maging maayos ang lahat... im looking for my inspiration, maybe she will change me, maybe i need her now at nakakasawa ng maghintay, baka rin hindi pa ngayon. bubulukin ko ang sarili ko sa kahihintay. dadating din yan, ng hindi daw inaasahan. talagang 'fate' lang ang hinihintay ko... sana wag itong matulad sa integral calculus.
things are to be used and people are to be loved. that's a basic concept. but then alterations come. things now are loved and people are used. saya ng buhay,., kung ang mga babae eh naghihintay sa kanilang prnce charming. maybe ako? hinihintay ko ang panahon na makita ko ang ililigtas ko.
now, i just want some peace of mind. to release all the stress that i am feeling,., kailangan ko ng break. to realize my potentials and get back to the track. grades, they are figures that all matured people specially old people look. now i don't realize why? bakit sa school, walang grade ang character, at puro calculus, physics and other subjects lang ang meron. bakit may mga bagay-bagay na hindi maapreciate ng tao tulad ng effort na isinasagad ng taong desperado. figures, when we we're young. senseless yan, all matters is that we've done our best, and that's the best that we can do. somethings are taken for granted. and as a child we tried so hard and yet even we fail, there has a sense of accomplishment. then we wake sometime, figures make the world move. and now, all things are not appreciated. no sense of enjoyement but work work work. maybe character is something that old people are afraid to look, and that's why they don't grade it. figures, grades are now the main in finding your job and bosses don't look for character. maybe that's why problems step up because, people don't want character, all they want is figures. that, maybe also a reason for some disparity among people. people are rational beings. it has also it's own immaterial essence. making every peple different with each other. others like figures, several choose for character.
character makes a person to have a substance.
not figures.
but in the end it's your choice, if you choose between figures and character or even both of them.
it is just an output of a playful mind on things
time to move on, may exam pa ako sa physics bukas at 'quiz' sa logic. iagdasal ninyo na sana pumasa ako... hehehe
Sunday, December 16, 2007
the moon smiled to me sarcastically
i appreciate better the misa de gallo to today. ang aga namin gumising para mag simbang madaling araw o misa de gallo.
paglabas namin ng bahay, mahangin pero hindi gaano malamig.
lakaton kami papuntang simbahan kasi malapit lang naman sa
bahay. on the way palabas ng compound, nakita namin si kuya
pete na naghihintay, ang sabi niya akala daw niya eh 4:00 yung
mass. 4:30 pala kaya nag hintay siya. lipas oras sa daan pero sa
loob nga ng compound na tinitirhan namin. so yun naglakaton
na kami. dumating kami sa simbahan, marami nang tao, as in
sobrang dami na ng tao. sila mama, pumasok at pinilit na
makapasok, kami ni kuya pete sa may labas lang, mainit na
masyado sa loob eh. all went well, except for one point in the
mass. medyo dinalaw ako ni mr. sandman, sakadahilanan na
sobrang boring at very shallow ang homily ni father. as always
kapag siya ang nag mimisa tapos nachachambahan namin.
grabe, talagang ung substance na hinahanap ko, wala. meron
lang siyang prepared na babasahin, un lang. sana sa susunod
na misa de gallo eh ibang pari naman. pagkatapos ng misa,
bumili sila mama ng puto bungbong at bibingka. sarap ng
almusal. ako naman diresto ako sa panaderya, bumili ng
mainit na pandesal. pag uwi, nagluto ng konting hotdog at itlog.
kape. instant almusal, wala pang 5 minutes. tapos kumain,
nagpalit lang ako ng sirang shower curtains. nagbukas sandali
ng tv at tumulog, nabitin ako sa panaginip ko na hindi ko
maintindihan kaninang bago mag simbang madaling araw.
then, gumising ako ng 11 am. nood ng kapete, ayus naman.
hindi ko na alam ang pinaggagawa ko nung tanghali kung hindi
mag linis at magdownload ng kismet at sandali lang. tapos
soundtrip. dumating si tita nori sa bahay, chit-chat ng konti
tapos natulog muna si tita nori sa amin kasi wala pa siyang
tulog sa maraming rason na kakain ng oras kapag tinype ko
pa...joke... basta marami siyang ginawa at nagsimbang gabi din
siya... masyadong marami na hindi ko na ma-enumerate. 4 na,
luto ng para sa hapunan. hindi naman kasi uso ang tanghalian
eh. marinate ng iiihaw, nag sangag ng kanin, nagsaing. tapos
nagihaw. ng hapunan. ang init, sa harapan ng aming lumang
ihawan, natuluan pa ako ng kumukulong langis galing sa
porkchop na inihaw at ngayon ay may souvenir ako galing sa
porkchop na nakain ko na. quits lang kami. tumingin sa langit
habang nagiihaw. nakita ko ang buwan. smiling very sweetly sa
akin parang nakakapangloko at kamuka ng ngiti ng chesurecat
sa alice in wonderland. nagising na si tita nori gabi na, may
buwan na eh. tapos tinext si mama. nagusap sila, at umalis,
hindi na nga nakakain sa amin (sayang isinama na namin
siya sa niluto ko tapos.... ) pero naintindihan ko naman kasi
wala pang nagluluto sa kanila, ang hirap din ng tayo ni mama.
nakuha ni tita nori yung sapatos pero yung pera, hindi...
nakakaasar si mama,. hindi manlang binigyan ng
consideration si tita, grabe hirap ni tita tapos hindi sulit yung
punta niya dito... lam kong asar na asar na siya kaso tinago sa
amin pero alam namin na ganun yung feeling niya... grabe...
asar talaga ugali ni mama... hindi ko mapigilan pero naawa ako
sa kalagayan ni tita nori ngayon...
i just pray na sana maging maayos yung buhay niya. sana
guminhawa naman ang lagay niya. sana po...
ngayon. nagboblog ako at hindi pa nagaaral para sa exam namin
ngayon... feeling ko lang na kailangan ko itong ilabas.... it's a
big burden to my conscience... mamaya pupunta ako sa
anticipated simbang gabi... hindi ko talaga kayang gumising ng
ganun kaaga... talo ako laban sa antok...
kailangan ko ng mag aral...
..
kismet
Didn't mean to take you for granted
Didn't mean to show I don't care
Didn't mean to throw away this once in a lifetime of chance
Being with you
And I'll drive for 2 hours
To bring Butterfingers
I don't mind the distance
This kismet's a dance
This time I surrender
My everything forever
Life doesn't matter
Just our souls together
Pride no longer has room in me
On bended knees in public I cry
Your name for everyone to know that I love you, I love you
Please hear me now
And I'll drive for 2 hours
To bring Butterfingers
I don't mind the distance
This kismet's a dance
This time I surrender
My everything forever
Life doesn't matter
Just our souls together
This time I surrender
My everything forever
Life doesn't matter
Just our souls together
And I'll drive for 2 hours
To bring Butterfingers
I don't mind the distance
This kismet's a dance
This time I surrender
My everything forever
And I'll drive for 2 hours
To bring Butterfingers
I don't mind the distance
This kismet's a dance
sandali lang
Wala na kong magagawa
Para mapigilan ka
Tinatanong ko ang sarili
Kung san ako nagkamali
Di ko rin inakala
Na ika’y mag-iiba
O kay saya ko sa ‘yong piling
Bibitaw ka rin pala
Di ka ba nanghihinayang sa atin
Kailangan pa bang tapusin
Sandali lang
Wag mo munang
Sasabihing ayaw mo na
Di ba pwedeng
Pagusapan ang lahat ng ito
Kaya pala unti-unting lumalamig
Ang iyong mga halik
Di ko na maramdaman
Ang dati mong pag-ibig
Di ka ba nanghihinayang sa atin
Kailangan pa bang tapusin
Sandali lang
Wag mo munang
Sasabihing ayaw mo na
Di ba pwedeng
Pagusapan ang lahat ng ito
Di ko alam kung may nagawa akong kasalanan
Bigla ka lang nang-iwan ng walang dahilan
Walang dahilan
Sandali lang
Wag mo munang
Sasabihing ayaw mo na
Di ba pwedeng
Pagusapan ang lahat ng ito
Sandali lang
Friday, December 14, 2007
a note
dear ma,
im sorry for all the things that i've done to you... im
also sorry for me being a failure. sometimes i think that i don't
deserve anything from you. i am also sorry for being mad to you.
there are things that i can't really solve by myself. at times hat i
need you. i can't really understand why there is no substance. i
can't really figure out. i hated myself because i can't make you
feel that there are many times that you are wrong. i don't want
your attitude in thiings and i think that you are the one to
blame in the things that you are doing. palagi mo na lang
pinapansin ang mga kamalian ng ibang tao and yet you don't
want to see your's. you always think about your problems ad yet
you don't reallize that i got one to, too many to handle. you
always want to go back to your hardships therefore you ignore
mine. you also don't know, now as a boy, im not yet a man
because there is no way to improve myself because you throw to
me everything that is bad. now i cannot reach out, because you
really don't take me seriously. i always smile, i always laugh but
when i am serious and im crying all you do is laugh. im only a
boy, i always cry not because of bruises but because of what you
are doing. i always pray that god will touch your heart and yet, i
don't know... i stay below because i want for you to realize in your
self what you are doing, and i am still hoping for that to come. i
don't know why i can't really hate you. i just don't know. i am not
really good at speaking but in this, i can say what i really want to
say without the feeling disregarded. i seek help, for you to
improve your attitude and i also pray for it. when i when to the
church one day, i seek help, and many times i pray for you. you
might not read it, but if you do, please understand. i think i
cannot anymore realize my potentials. i've also got dreams not
only for myself but for the family. at times you say something to
me, i think that it really don't help me to feel anything better. i
am needing for your appreciations but it won't come... may you
solve and surpass you trials in life... that's all i wish for but i
think won't hear that. your mind is closed for all the things
might come. that's all..
Thursday, December 13, 2007
simbang gabi
| Start: | Dec 16, '07 04:00a |
| End: | Dec 25, '07 |
| Location: | church |
a part calm... more of a rage
maganda ang gising sa umaga, hindi gaanong malamig at tama
lang ang pakiramdam para maligo sa umaga... pumasok at
kumuha ng pagsusulit sa physics 2, nakasagot naman kahit
papaano. natapos ang pagsusulit na dumudugo ang aking ilong.
pagkatapos ay calculus, ako ay kumopya ng kumopya ng mga
isinulat ng aming propesor. may naintindihan pero lamang ang
walang naintindihan. gaya ng highschool pag hindi mo
maintindihan ang itinuturo ng iyong guro, mag drowing na lang
ng mag drowing. mapupuno na nga ang cover page ng aking
notes ng drowing, iginuhit dito ang mga nasa isip, tulad na lang
ng pinoy kisses (yung tsokolate). pagtapos ay may roon kaming
break na trenta minutos. napagdisketahan namin nila lex at
arwin ang pagkain ng kwekkwek sa likod ng eskwelahan.
habang kami ay kumakain ay aking napansin ang mag ama, di
nalalayo sa aming kinakainan... hindi ko na napigilan ang
aking sarili. tanong ko kay manong na may-ari ng kwekwek
stand " matagal na po ba silang tambay dito? (kahit na alam ko
na ngayon lang sila doon dahil suki na rin ako sa mga lutuin ni
manong.)" sumagot si manong " kawawa naman yung bata no?"
tama naman si manong at noong bubunot na ako ng perang
pambili ng kanilang makakain, bununot na si lex sabay sabi "
manong bigyan niyo po ng anim na hotdog yung bata, sagot ko",
?!?!?!?! naunahan ako sa aking charity work. medyo nainis ako
pero part narin na pasasalamat kay lex dahil sa kanyang
ginawa. kahit na hindi ako nakatulong naisip ko nalang na baka
hindi pa ako handang tumulong sa iba at kailangan ko munang
tulungan ang akin sarili.
bumalik kami sa aming silid at dumating na rin ang aming
guro. logic nanaman. ayus. naudlot at na postponed ang aming
quiz kanina, gaya ng dati, masaya at nagdiwang ang lahat. nag
karoon ng kaonting debate kung totoo daw ba na ang pera ay
nakakapagpasaya sa tao. may sumagot ng oo, at marami sa
hindi. parang sa pula o sa puti. kamuntik na kaming mag away
ng aking kaklase na si keso dahil sa pangyayari na iyon. pero sa
ngayon isa lang talaga ang masasabi ko. ang pera ay hindi
makakapagpasaya sa tao kung hindi ang mga posibilidad na
mabili mo sa pamamagitan nito. maganda at masaya ang loob
mo kapag nakakatanggap ka, pero mas masaya ang pakiramdam
at magan ito kapag pinakawalan mo ang pera, at ipinamahagi
mo sa mas nangangailangan. tulad na lang ng pangyayari sa
kwek kwek stand ni manong.
hanggang sa labas ng silid nag aaway parin kami. paglabas
namin. uwian na at nakita namin si crizel sa labas ng silid.
ayun. no comment na Lang. ( pEro ang hint Ko mayroon na hindi
maliligo ng iSang taon dahil.... )
paglabas ng eskwelahan, naghiwahiwalay na kami ng aming
mga landas. sila jemil, keso, at arwin patungo sa sakayan ng lrt
at nagmamadali ng mag palevel. kami nila lex at tina papunta sa
kabilang panig ng mundo
pag uwi. pagod sa lahat ng ginawa. pagdating sa bahay... !@#$!
walang sinaing. gutom na ako. o hindi. nahuhuramintado na
ako sa bahay. ang akala daw kasi ay hanggang hapon ako.
kakain ako ng cup noodles. !@#$! walan joe. walang mainit na
tubig. ubos. WAAAAA! nag init na lang ako ng konting tubig,
nagpalamig ng ulong busog sa inis, at nambitin ng gutom na
bulate sa tyan. ika nga ni keso. "NAG SA-SMACK DOWN NA ANG
MGA BULATE KO SA TYAN". pagkainit ng tubig na pang lagay sa
aking noodles. kumain na ako ( alangan naman na titigan ko
lang).... noodles at natirang pandesal galing sa panaderya
kaninang umaga. pag kakain ko. nagsundo na ako sa aking
nakababatang kapatid. paakyat na ako sa isang bundok ng
nakita ako ni manong drayber ng tricycle. suki na kami nun
kaya kilala na kami eh. eh di yun. hindi na ako pinaglakad at
isinabay na rin ako papuntang eskwelahan. tapos nung pauwi
na sa kanya parin kami sumakay bilang utang na loob.
pagkauwi ko ay nag bukas ako ng pc. mag boblog na muna ako.
pampatangal antok... noong panahon na ipopost ko na ay sa
KALOKOHAN NG MERALCO. NAGBROWNOUT at nawala lahat ng
iti-nype ko at KAKABWISIT! walan joe. itinulog ko na lang ang
aking inis. badtref. pag gising ko nag wawala si ate zen! ayus
badtref ako natulog, badtref parin nung gumising. ayun..,.
buti nalang at umalis sila so nagpatugtog ako ng malakas sa
bahay... tanggal ang badtref at tanggal pati tenga ko.
nandito ako ngayon nag tatayp... sana hindi mag brown out.
yes nakapagpost na rin!!!! OYEH!!!
gagawa na ako ng mga takdang aralin... ika nga eh ito ay
pampainit pa lang... nakatulog naman ako kaya magagawa ko
ang mga iyon...
ang tanging hiling na lamang ay
sana hindi ako malate sa vincentian studies
exam namin bukas!
CTR+C
CTRL+V
lang ang pakiramdam para maligo sa umaga... pumasok at
kumuha ng pagsusulit sa physics 2, nakasagot naman kahit
papaano. natapos ang pagsusulit na dumudugo ang aking ilong.
pagkatapos ay calculus, ako ay kumopya ng kumopya ng mga
isinulat ng aming propesor. may naintindihan pero lamang ang
walang naintindihan. gaya ng highschool pag hindi mo
maintindihan ang itinuturo ng iyong guro, mag drowing na lang
ng mag drowing. mapupuno na nga ang cover page ng aking
notes ng drowing, iginuhit dito ang mga nasa isip, tulad na lang
ng pinoy kisses (yung tsokolate). pagtapos ay may roon kaming
break na trenta minutos. napagdisketahan namin nila lex at
arwin ang pagkain ng kwekkwek sa likod ng eskwelahan.
habang kami ay kumakain ay aking napansin ang mag ama, di
nalalayo sa aming kinakainan... hindi ko na napigilan ang
aking sarili. tanong ko kay manong na may-ari ng kwekwek
stand " matagal na po ba silang tambay dito? (kahit na alam ko
na ngayon lang sila doon dahil suki na rin ako sa mga lutuin ni
manong.)" sumagot si manong " kawawa naman yung bata no?"
tama naman si manong at noong bubunot na ako ng perang
pambili ng kanilang makakain, bununot na si lex sabay sabi "
manong bigyan niyo po ng anim na hotdog yung bata, sagot ko",
?!?!?!?! naunahan ako sa aking charity work. medyo nainis ako
pero part narin na pasasalamat kay lex dahil sa kanyang
ginawa. kahit na hindi ako nakatulong naisip ko nalang na baka
hindi pa ako handang tumulong sa iba at kailangan ko munang
tulungan ang akin sarili.
bumalik kami sa aming silid at dumating na rin ang aming
guro. logic nanaman. ayus. naudlot at na postponed ang aming
quiz kanina, gaya ng dati, masaya at nagdiwang ang lahat. nag
karoon ng kaonting debate kung totoo daw ba na ang pera ay
nakakapagpasaya sa tao. may sumagot ng oo, at marami sa
hindi. parang sa pula o sa puti. kamuntik na kaming mag away
ng aking kaklase na si keso dahil sa pangyayari na iyon. pero sa
ngayon isa lang talaga ang masasabi ko. ang pera ay hindi
makakapagpasaya sa tao kung hindi ang mga posibilidad na
mabili mo sa pamamagitan nito. maganda at masaya ang loob
mo kapag nakakatanggap ka, pero mas masaya ang pakiramdam
at magan ito kapag pinakawalan mo ang pera, at ipinamahagi
mo sa mas nangangailangan. tulad na lang ng pangyayari sa
kwek kwek stand ni manong.
hanggang sa labas ng silid nag aaway parin kami. paglabas
namin. uwian na at nakita namin si crizel sa labas ng silid.
ayun. no comment na Lang. ( pEro ang hint Ko mayroon na hindi
maliligo ng iSang taon dahil.... )
paglabas ng eskwelahan, naghiwahiwalay na kami ng aming
mga landas. sila jemil, keso, at arwin patungo sa sakayan ng lrt
at nagmamadali ng mag palevel. kami nila lex at tina papunta sa
kabilang panig ng mundo
pag uwi. pagod sa lahat ng ginawa. pagdating sa bahay... !@#$!
walang sinaing. gutom na ako. o hindi. nahuhuramintado na
ako sa bahay. ang akala daw kasi ay hanggang hapon ako.
kakain ako ng cup noodles. !@#$! walan joe. walang mainit na
tubig. ubos. WAAAAA! nag init na lang ako ng konting tubig,
nagpalamig ng ulong busog sa inis, at nambitin ng gutom na
bulate sa tyan. ika nga ni keso. "NAG SA-SMACK DOWN NA ANG
MGA BULATE KO SA TYAN". pagkainit ng tubig na pang lagay sa
aking noodles. kumain na ako ( alangan naman na titigan ko
lang).... noodles at natirang pandesal galing sa panaderya
kaninang umaga. pag kakain ko. nagsundo na ako sa aking
nakababatang kapatid. paakyat na ako sa isang bundok ng
nakita ako ni manong drayber ng tricycle. suki na kami nun
kaya kilala na kami eh. eh di yun. hindi na ako pinaglakad at
isinabay na rin ako papuntang eskwelahan. tapos nung pauwi
na sa kanya parin kami sumakay bilang utang na loob.
pagkauwi ko ay nag bukas ako ng pc. mag boblog na muna ako.
pampatangal antok... noong panahon na ipopost ko na ay sa
KALOKOHAN NG MERALCO. NAGBROWNOUT at nawala lahat ng
iti-nype ko at KAKABWISIT! walan joe. itinulog ko na lang ang
aking inis. badtref. pag gising ko nag wawala si ate zen! ayus
badtref ako natulog, badtref parin nung gumising. ayun..,.
buti nalang at umalis sila so nagpatugtog ako ng malakas sa
bahay... tanggal ang badtref at tanggal pati tenga ko.
nandito ako ngayon nag tatayp... sana hindi mag brown out.
yes nakapagpost na rin!!!! OYEH!!!
gagawa na ako ng mga takdang aralin... ika nga eh ito ay
pampainit pa lang... nakatulog naman ako kaya magagawa ko
ang mga iyon...
ang tanging hiling na lamang ay
sana hindi ako malate sa vincentian studies
exam namin bukas!
CTR+C
CTRL+V
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
such a good day
such a good day....
little by little, now i realize what's wrong. well, it's just a step by step process. hindi ka pwedeng magmadali for the simple reasons that you might miss out something. now most probably, you cannot count the things you have not yet recieved...
a good day started cold...
pagkagising ko kaninang umaga, ang lamig sobra na to the point na ayaw kong maligo... sobrang malamig talaga... sarap tuloy matulog dahil puyat nung isang gabi, busy na gumagawa ng assignment sa physics lab... it's all right ang problema nga lang eh mahabang gawin... oh well, so pumasok ako kaninang umaga, late. medyo nasa plano na mag pa late dahil magrerebyu ako sa philippine literature, nag quiz kami kanina, ayun pumasa naman. eh di one down na. kaso nasacrifice yung theo 4
hindi gaanong maganda. next na nga eh yung physics lab. ang dami pa kasi sobrang irerewrite. so IT'S CRAM TIME... gawain ng isang kt boy nung highschool yan pati na rin ng mga batang lipas gutom nung college. hindi naman ako gaanong nagcram kasi nagawa ko na yung iba... ayus na.... natapos naman in time ng maayos... time for PHYSICS LAB QUIZ! nakasagot naman ako dahil gumawa ako ng assignment... tapos nun, ang balak ko eh pumunta na sa busko, dadaan lng ako... kasama ko sila marian at si lex sa sm. nilibre ako, at konting pakipot ako pero bumigay din... hahaha... matagal tagal din pero ayus naman... tapos pumunta ako sa busko... dalawang sakay ng jeep dun na ako... dami kong nakita, sila phillippe, marben, at si lukas... maraming salamat senyo dahil kelangang kelangan ko yun... well ang main objective ko is, paratumambay at batiin si mam diosa ng hapi berday... tapos, maraming ng yari....
euphoric.
that's the word today. masaya because ang experience today ay nakapagpagaan sa napakagulo kong buhay... (drama?!) well, today is good. and everyday i think will be...
salamat sa pari na hindi ko alam ang pangalan...
salamat sa mga nakasama ko kanina... tnx...
i appreciate it a lot.
little by little, now i realize what's wrong. well, it's just a step by step process. hindi ka pwedeng magmadali for the simple reasons that you might miss out something. now most probably, you cannot count the things you have not yet recieved...
a good day started cold...
pagkagising ko kaninang umaga, ang lamig sobra na to the point na ayaw kong maligo... sobrang malamig talaga... sarap tuloy matulog dahil puyat nung isang gabi, busy na gumagawa ng assignment sa physics lab... it's all right ang problema nga lang eh mahabang gawin... oh well, so pumasok ako kaninang umaga, late. medyo nasa plano na mag pa late dahil magrerebyu ako sa philippine literature, nag quiz kami kanina, ayun pumasa naman. eh di one down na. kaso nasacrifice yung theo 4
hindi gaanong maganda. next na nga eh yung physics lab. ang dami pa kasi sobrang irerewrite. so IT'S CRAM TIME... gawain ng isang kt boy nung highschool yan pati na rin ng mga batang lipas gutom nung college. hindi naman ako gaanong nagcram kasi nagawa ko na yung iba... ayus na.... natapos naman in time ng maayos... time for PHYSICS LAB QUIZ! nakasagot naman ako dahil gumawa ako ng assignment... tapos nun, ang balak ko eh pumunta na sa busko, dadaan lng ako... kasama ko sila marian at si lex sa sm. nilibre ako, at konting pakipot ako pero bumigay din... hahaha... matagal tagal din pero ayus naman... tapos pumunta ako sa busko... dalawang sakay ng jeep dun na ako... dami kong nakita, sila phillippe, marben, at si lukas... maraming salamat senyo dahil kelangang kelangan ko yun... well ang main objective ko is, paratumambay at batiin si mam diosa ng hapi berday... tapos, maraming ng yari....
euphoric.
that's the word today. masaya because ang experience today ay nakapagpagaan sa napakagulo kong buhay... (drama?!) well, today is good. and everyday i think will be...
salamat sa pari na hindi ko alam ang pangalan...
salamat sa mga nakasama ko kanina... tnx...
i appreciate it a lot.
Monday, December 10, 2007
levanter just blew hardly at my face
balik na ako...
well i've got to things inside my pocket.
impatience & a future that's not too good & has a risk of breaking and falling apart..
kung dati eh medyo matino at may konting clarity ang aking focus, ngayon wala na talaga. i think i am failing my subjects, wala na akong natututunan, i think of many things that i really don't know... nakakainis, i think i'm sealed in some space, and i don't know how to get out of it, or... i don't really know... dati kahit konting linaw meron ako, pero ngayon, wala na talaga ata, medyo tinatamad na nga akong mag aral pero i'm fighting, i'm living almost in the sense of only living it. marami ng mga bagay na talagang hinihintay ko o talagang kailangan ko, kaso hindi dumadating, hindi ko alam kung ng aasar lng o ano eh... hindi ko alam kung kakampi ko ba ang mundo o kalaban ko... literally. ang hirap, dahil gusto kong magawa pero hindi ko magawa, may certain things na talagang kontra sa akin. im being impatient dahil sa mga bagay na iyon. i need strength, but strength won't go near me, ayaw pati inspiration, wala talaga. the whole world conspires to help you towards your personal legend... now i've got doubt about it. i dunno.. maybe i need a break, kahit ilang araw, as in break, pumunta sa ibang lugar o kung ano man. now at times, im crying for something i don't know. napapaisip nga ako kung ang ibang tao kapag nahihirapan eh ganito ka lala. ang naghihirap walang pera, pwedeng umutang kapag gipit pero sa lagay ko, hindi pwedeng umutang, dahil for simple things na hindi mo alam kung ano ang uutangin mo. things are against me, that's what i feel, in every aspect, every point where i turn. katulad na lang ni inay, all that i hear from her kahit na noong dati pa eh puro sermon, puro problema, lahat ng masasama, sa akin binabato. all efforts, walang effect, basta hindi maganda para sa kanya, REJECTED! i wish for acceptance, hindi naman dumating sa kanya kahit minsan, well, baka dumating ng ilang times, pero madaling natabunan lang ng kanyang halos araw araw na galit. ONLY I WISHED FOR IS A LITTLE ACCEPTANCE, AND NOW, THE LITTLE SELF ACCEPTANCE THAT I HARDLY EARN FROM EVERY BODY WAS LOST... im starting to hate everything. hindi na ako makapagjokes katulad ng dati. sobrang bigat ng feeling ko, and it's still geting heavier everyday that passes by. no improvements what so ever... gusto ko din sanang magkaroon ng kausap, kaso as usual wala parin. now time ticks and nothing is being done... starting to hate this cycle, starting to lose focus, starting to hate everyone. it all started on the time that i don't know... im seriously breaking down...
nawawalan na ako ng gana sa paggawa ng kahit ano... sa lahat.
everyday i cry, i think nobody notices it. pasimple lng pero effective... wala talaga akng makausap ngayon, na makakarelate ako sa kanya at siya sa akin
to sum it all up, im now living in a life that is full of suffering and sadly nobody is interested in helping me. IM LOOSING WHAT I WORKED FOR AND LOOSING SOME MORE FOR THINGS THAT I DIDN'T HAVE...
i hate this all...
well i've got to things inside my pocket.
impatience & a future that's not too good & has a risk of breaking and falling apart..
kung dati eh medyo matino at may konting clarity ang aking focus, ngayon wala na talaga. i think i am failing my subjects, wala na akong natututunan, i think of many things that i really don't know... nakakainis, i think i'm sealed in some space, and i don't know how to get out of it, or... i don't really know... dati kahit konting linaw meron ako, pero ngayon, wala na talaga ata, medyo tinatamad na nga akong mag aral pero i'm fighting, i'm living almost in the sense of only living it. marami ng mga bagay na talagang hinihintay ko o talagang kailangan ko, kaso hindi dumadating, hindi ko alam kung ng aasar lng o ano eh... hindi ko alam kung kakampi ko ba ang mundo o kalaban ko... literally. ang hirap, dahil gusto kong magawa pero hindi ko magawa, may certain things na talagang kontra sa akin. im being impatient dahil sa mga bagay na iyon. i need strength, but strength won't go near me, ayaw pati inspiration, wala talaga. the whole world conspires to help you towards your personal legend... now i've got doubt about it. i dunno.. maybe i need a break, kahit ilang araw, as in break, pumunta sa ibang lugar o kung ano man. now at times, im crying for something i don't know. napapaisip nga ako kung ang ibang tao kapag nahihirapan eh ganito ka lala. ang naghihirap walang pera, pwedeng umutang kapag gipit pero sa lagay ko, hindi pwedeng umutang, dahil for simple things na hindi mo alam kung ano ang uutangin mo. things are against me, that's what i feel, in every aspect, every point where i turn. katulad na lang ni inay, all that i hear from her kahit na noong dati pa eh puro sermon, puro problema, lahat ng masasama, sa akin binabato. all efforts, walang effect, basta hindi maganda para sa kanya, REJECTED! i wish for acceptance, hindi naman dumating sa kanya kahit minsan, well, baka dumating ng ilang times, pero madaling natabunan lang ng kanyang halos araw araw na galit. ONLY I WISHED FOR IS A LITTLE ACCEPTANCE, AND NOW, THE LITTLE SELF ACCEPTANCE THAT I HARDLY EARN FROM EVERY BODY WAS LOST... im starting to hate everything. hindi na ako makapagjokes katulad ng dati. sobrang bigat ng feeling ko, and it's still geting heavier everyday that passes by. no improvements what so ever... gusto ko din sanang magkaroon ng kausap, kaso as usual wala parin. now time ticks and nothing is being done... starting to hate this cycle, starting to lose focus, starting to hate everyone. it all started on the time that i don't know... im seriously breaking down...
nawawalan na ako ng gana sa paggawa ng kahit ano... sa lahat.
everyday i cry, i think nobody notices it. pasimple lng pero effective... wala talaga akng makausap ngayon, na makakarelate ako sa kanya at siya sa akin
to sum it all up, im now living in a life that is full of suffering and sadly nobody is interested in helping me. IM LOOSING WHAT I WORKED FOR AND LOOSING SOME MORE FOR THINGS THAT I DIDN'T HAVE...
i hate this all...
Monday, December 3, 2007
.....
medyo pahinga muna ako sa mga blog... i dont know.. siguro for a change... just doing something different... well i will resume in due time...
well this is not my last ...
i live a day full events
i day that only i can carry
with friends and family
creating an event somewhat special
it was early in the morning
when i walk to the road
saying thanks for another day
that was given for a chance to make a change
then i ride on a bus
thinking of many things
school, things to do, and many more
preparing for whats to come
then i realized
im busy preparing for too many things
counting and somtimes, thinking for what will happen
then i forgot to live my life
well this is not my last ...
i live a day full events
i day that only i can carry
with friends and family
creating an event somewhat special
it was early in the morning
when i walk to the road
saying thanks for another day
that was given for a chance to make a change
then i ride on a bus
thinking of many things
school, things to do, and many more
preparing for whats to come
then i realized
im busy preparing for too many things
counting and somtimes, thinking for what will happen
then i forgot to live my life
.....
medyo pahinga muna ako sa mga blog... i dont know.. siguro for a change... just doing something different... well i will resume in due time...
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
day dreaming
a new day, a new experience, a new realization...
sa pagumpisa ng panibagong araw, umuulan at masarap matulog... malamig eh, sayang humiga na lang sa kama at takasan ang buhay ng pagiging estudyante... as usual, hindi ko ito mataksan kasi kailangan kong gawin ito at medyo nagugustuhan ko na ng konti ang second sem, exept for one thing...
pag dating ko sa iskul eh maaga pa... may time para makipag usap sa mga kaclase ko... dumating si tina, oyeh! dala niya ang hinihiram kong libro, so this day is good after all... physics 2, ang unang subject, ayus naman at maganda ang umpisa ng araw namin... naiintindihan ko naman ang lessons...may konting takot lang kasi sa tuesday eh isang long quiz ang nagaabang sa amin... tapos susunod na subject. ang integral calculus... WAAAAAAAAA!!!! hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi kami magkabati ng subject na ito... nakakainis kasi hindi ko talaga maintindihan kung bakit ba naman, ayaw pumasok ng mga tinuturo ni mam fernando sa utak ko.. kainis... bumabagsak na ako sa subject na ito. pero no choice ako kung hindi pag aralan ito at maglagay ng extrang effort sa pag- aral...logic! ang saya talaga ng subject na ito... well, besides sa magaling na professor eh ayus talaga ang mga tinuturo dito...
3 subjects sa araw na ito... uwian na...
well umuulan ng malakas, so medyo napasenti ako ng konti sa bus...
then, napansin ko, all in all, mahilig talaga akong magday dream.. a form of escape, nabubuhay ako sa mundong ito na kung saan, gustong-gusto ko. nalaman ko na duwag pala ako, dahil isa akong tanga na umiiwas sa problema...
time to shape up... to make a difference to myself, that's what i need.!!!!
sa pagumpisa ng panibagong araw, umuulan at masarap matulog... malamig eh, sayang humiga na lang sa kama at takasan ang buhay ng pagiging estudyante... as usual, hindi ko ito mataksan kasi kailangan kong gawin ito at medyo nagugustuhan ko na ng konti ang second sem, exept for one thing...
pag dating ko sa iskul eh maaga pa... may time para makipag usap sa mga kaclase ko... dumating si tina, oyeh! dala niya ang hinihiram kong libro, so this day is good after all... physics 2, ang unang subject, ayus naman at maganda ang umpisa ng araw namin... naiintindihan ko naman ang lessons...may konting takot lang kasi sa tuesday eh isang long quiz ang nagaabang sa amin... tapos susunod na subject. ang integral calculus... WAAAAAAAAA!!!! hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi kami magkabati ng subject na ito... nakakainis kasi hindi ko talaga maintindihan kung bakit ba naman, ayaw pumasok ng mga tinuturo ni mam fernando sa utak ko.. kainis... bumabagsak na ako sa subject na ito. pero no choice ako kung hindi pag aralan ito at maglagay ng extrang effort sa pag- aral...logic! ang saya talaga ng subject na ito... well, besides sa magaling na professor eh ayus talaga ang mga tinuturo dito...
3 subjects sa araw na ito... uwian na...
well umuulan ng malakas, so medyo napasenti ako ng konti sa bus...
then, napansin ko, all in all, mahilig talaga akong magday dream.. a form of escape, nabubuhay ako sa mundong ito na kung saan, gustong-gusto ko. nalaman ko na duwag pala ako, dahil isa akong tanga na umiiwas sa problema...
time to shape up... to make a difference to myself, that's what i need.!!!!
Saturday, November 17, 2007
a simple ideal
isang written compostion na pina assignment ng prof namin sa v.s. hindi naman pinapasa
Simple ideal
-aldren thomas rocha
I am a boy who is seeking
A perfect ideal; fit for someone's dreaming
With a character that's not hiding
Nor a heart who surely was not beating
As i walk each day
I look along my way
Hoping that i will see
Someone who is real
There's not a day that passes by
That i've never miss to look and try
At first i thought this job was easy
Until it made me very dizzy
Then i saw the sunset
Maybe this task is not easy to get
Then i ride the bus, now im going home
The day ends; the time has reasons of it's own
Then i stop; and then i think
Maybe i didn't find him because i have blinked
Or maybe i'm just finding too far that i may sink
In something that is not so distinct
As far as i know; i was confused
So i decided to stop thinking.
I then open my eyes ouside of the window
To see people on my surprise
A saw this man, a beggar to be exact
He is finding garbages for a living
In far; he's contented, but it's not a fact
But when you looked closely,
He's someone more than that
It's traffic as i can as all may seem
In my case, more time for me to see
What lies behind that man
Who's now picking up the tin can
His clothes were dirty,
The body is all filthy.
He stoped, then he sat along the side walk
Rested, silently
Then he put his hand on his head
There's something now dropping from his eye.
A little spot
Where i saw a tear drop
The bus started to go
It is hard for it to slow
I have no choice but to sit back
And think of what i saw
I offered a prayer
For that man who it think was in hunger
To hope that he will find a decent dinner
That is fitted for him and not for a sinner
Then i realized
Im not finding a politician
An actor or a rich man
But a person who has substance, like that man
In status, he is poor
He might be weak
But i find him strong
More than a man who is fit
In him i saw
The urge to live
A life full of struggle
That no one can leap
The tear in his eye
A second of defeat
But living that kind of life
Makes him a winner deserving not to weep
I saw in him
What life may seem
He not only an ideal
But an ispiration
Because inside of him
More maybe seen;
A heart that beats,
And a spirit that breathes
i can't simply cry
i can't simply cry
-aldren thomas rocha
how to live a life
if the light inside
is slowly turning dim
and glass inside has shattered into small pieces
how can anyone capture moments
if one cannot create those
if he is stuck in a black whole
when a second is equal to eternity
how can someone be happy
if others insist what they want
for the person whose wants something
therefore not achieving what he wants
how can i get something i wish
if there is not such thing as chance to get it
it's either, they say it's not what they want for me
or we can't simply have it
how can i feel accomplishment
is others pull me down
in something they want for me
leaving my dreams aside for them
how can i think for a solutions
when problems are over powering
living in the real world
and not in a world where i think of solutions
how can i have a peaceful life
when my mind thinks of something
my body pursue it
and at the end i will regret what i've done
how can somebody feel me
when everybody hears only jokes
then after that, everybody leaves me
weeping and had been eaten by sorrow
how can i love
if i catched all the rejections
creating a wall of stone
leaving no space for my heart to breathe
how can i cry
if there is no shoulder to cry on
i always gladly share mine
and when the time i weep, everybody turns and walk away
how can i have a happy ending
im busy hearing everybody's love story
and in the end
i realized, where is mine?
how can i reach the world
when i am busy pushing someone upward
to catch his/her dreams
then after that, i am burried under, left with no one
how can i possibly meet ms right
if i got all the imperfections
making myself not fitted
for any ms right anymore
how can i open a door
if i was knocking from the start
and everyone is pushing their door
against me
i can possibly live my life
until i can't live anymore
living my life is not easy;
a little helps to leave a little easy
but more pulls me inside a vortex that i can't anymore escape
my emotions are stuck
i live a life where most of the time i can't get what i want
i can't live freely and to the fullest
i want to explode and cry
but i simply can't
i've got to be strong
for everyone to see
but little by little
i am giving up
i need someone to hear me cry
i need someone to give me heat
a heat that can warm my emotions back again
to heal my spirit,
wounded and shivering
numb from everybody's throwing
i tried to heal it by myself
but it wouldn't
he just told me to stop
this problem cannot be solved by the two of us
but then, don't stop holding
if i let go,
maybe i just don't know anymore.
-aldren thomas rocha
how to live a life
if the light inside
is slowly turning dim
and glass inside has shattered into small pieces
how can anyone capture moments
if one cannot create those
if he is stuck in a black whole
when a second is equal to eternity
how can someone be happy
if others insist what they want
for the person whose wants something
therefore not achieving what he wants
how can i get something i wish
if there is not such thing as chance to get it
it's either, they say it's not what they want for me
or we can't simply have it
how can i feel accomplishment
is others pull me down
in something they want for me
leaving my dreams aside for them
how can i think for a solutions
when problems are over powering
living in the real world
and not in a world where i think of solutions
how can i have a peaceful life
when my mind thinks of something
my body pursue it
and at the end i will regret what i've done
how can somebody feel me
when everybody hears only jokes
then after that, everybody leaves me
weeping and had been eaten by sorrow
how can i love
if i catched all the rejections
creating a wall of stone
leaving no space for my heart to breathe
how can i cry
if there is no shoulder to cry on
i always gladly share mine
and when the time i weep, everybody turns and walk away
how can i have a happy ending
im busy hearing everybody's love story
and in the end
i realized, where is mine?
how can i reach the world
when i am busy pushing someone upward
to catch his/her dreams
then after that, i am burried under, left with no one
how can i possibly meet ms right
if i got all the imperfections
making myself not fitted
for any ms right anymore
how can i open a door
if i was knocking from the start
and everyone is pushing their door
against me
i can possibly live my life
until i can't live anymore
living my life is not easy;
a little helps to leave a little easy
but more pulls me inside a vortex that i can't anymore escape
my emotions are stuck
i live a life where most of the time i can't get what i want
i can't live freely and to the fullest
i want to explode and cry
but i simply can't
i've got to be strong
for everyone to see
but little by little
i am giving up
i need someone to hear me cry
i need someone to give me heat
a heat that can warm my emotions back again
to heal my spirit,
wounded and shivering
numb from everybody's throwing
i tried to heal it by myself
but it wouldn't
he just told me to stop
this problem cannot be solved by the two of us
but then, don't stop holding
if i let go,
maybe i just don't know anymore.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
hindi ko alam kung anong title ang ilalagay ko
well, i woke up early...as my body clock suggests...
i woke this morning, opened my eyes and it's 5:30... i decided to get up... para maligo so bumaba na ako dala ko ang towel ko as always, then napansin ko... parang umaayon ang panahon sa akin, kahit na madilim pa eh nakikita ko ang pagbadya ng isang malakas na ulan... well hindi pa naman bumabagsak yung ulan pero alam ko lng eh... tsamba.! it's cloudy outside as i saw, tapos biglang umihip ang sobrang lamig na hangin.. so ayun humiga ako sa sofa namin at ikinumot ang towel kong dala... iidlip muna ako ng konti lng... tpos nasense ko na bumababa na si inay galing sa taas... ayun gumising na ako... umupo ng sandali tapos naligo na... then, bihis kinuha yung jacket kasi mas mabuti ng handa, kumain, at umalis...
umaambon na, so bukas ang payong sabay lakad. tpos naghintay ng bus sa dating hintayan ng bus... umupo sa may bintana... nagumpisa nang lumutang ang akin utak, ayun,., pagdating ng vicente cruz. traffic na so umidlip muna ako tapos nung tinatamad na akong umidlip... nilabas ko yung rubics tapos ginulo at sinolve ko ng paulit ulit... hanggang sa masawa ako... pagkatapos ko, tinago ko ulit sa bag... traffic parin pero malapit na ako sa legarda... tumingin ako sa labas, hindi ako nagiisip... gumagalaw lng yung imagination ko pero, parang wala ako sa sarili...
pagdating sa school, im late sa unang subject,., physics... sobrang traffic kasi... so nalate ng konti sa lecture ni mam casquejo pero nakahabol naman ako, salamat sa kanyang notes sa board... then ayun... nagsulat ng notes... nagaral ng parang isang totoong estudyante... tapos punta na sa clase ng integral... quiz naming ngayon, just as i suspected,., mahirap at nahirapan ako... nakakainis, pero i admit defeat. talo ako, pero lumaban ako... sinagutan ko ung quiz with all my stock knowledge... natetemp na akong kumopya pero i restrained myself... sana makabawi... pagkatapos ng i.c. break kami ng 30 mins. as usual joke time kasama yung mga lagi kong kasama... tawanan, asaran... then it's logic time... the subject that i most enjoy... ang saya saya at ang sarap makinig kay sr. ibañez... galing magdefend at bumuo ng conclusions... he's good and that's what i want, nambabara pero hindi ka mapapahiya na tulad ng ibang mga prof... pagbinara ka o may reply siya sa sagot mo, he's telling you to think twice... i salute him...
sa logic class... meron siyang assignment na ipapasa sa december 6 ata... well a simple reflection paper na kailang idefend o magreflect kung si satan ba ay pure evil o talagang nasa hell siya kasi tagapaghatol siya sa hell, siya yung nagbuburn ng souls for eternity... kung nasa hell siya dapat binuburn na rin yung soul niya... something like that...
may tinanong pa siya tungkol sa chair... ang perception nung una nung iba kong kaclse it something to be sitted upon... humirit si sr. na 'if i sit on you, are now considered a chair?' it's good... hahaha tawana kaming lahat... i really enjoy logic... *the word that classifies the chair is the chairness...
last class na namin yun tapos umuwi na ako... as usual parang kaninang umaga, traffic at lumulutang ang utak ko... maybe it's a sickness na hindi ko lam... i don' know... but i know in myself that something bothers me... hindi na kaya ng blog na magease ng pain...im not being emo or somesort pero sa tingin ko malungkot ako... then i realized ngayon-ngayon lng at may natandaan ako... yung quote ni sr.bob na maybe im just a good movie that after everyshow everybody leaves me behind... ngayon, nasesense ko na smiles, laughs, sabi ng iba makwela daw ako... lumalabas yung side na iyon kapag may mga kasama ako paglabas ko sa bahay at sa school... wala na, or meron. yung talgang naging kaibigan ko na even for a sem...
i cherish my friends ,the feeling that i exert to them, gives them heat and i think they recieve it... the problem is lagi akong naglalabas pero wala akong nararamdaman na bumabalik... i don't know., baka ksp lng ako.... no it's more to that.. hindi ko masabi sa kanila,. sabi ko sa sarili ko na baka busy lang sila... then. i realize na bkit kung sa iba meron pero para sa akin wala... baka mababaw pa lang yung bonding namin, pero magkakasama kami sa araw araw... baka hanggang classmate lang ang kaya kong i-establish... i know na walang nagbabsa ng blog ko pero i hope na sana meron akong mapaglabasan ng luha... sana kahit sa chat lang o sa kung saan, magkaroon ng kahit konting pansin, talagang yun yung kailangan ko,.,
i do hope for someone, pray for that to happen...
i woke this morning, opened my eyes and it's 5:30... i decided to get up... para maligo so bumaba na ako dala ko ang towel ko as always, then napansin ko... parang umaayon ang panahon sa akin, kahit na madilim pa eh nakikita ko ang pagbadya ng isang malakas na ulan... well hindi pa naman bumabagsak yung ulan pero alam ko lng eh... tsamba.! it's cloudy outside as i saw, tapos biglang umihip ang sobrang lamig na hangin.. so ayun humiga ako sa sofa namin at ikinumot ang towel kong dala... iidlip muna ako ng konti lng... tpos nasense ko na bumababa na si inay galing sa taas... ayun gumising na ako... umupo ng sandali tapos naligo na... then, bihis kinuha yung jacket kasi mas mabuti ng handa, kumain, at umalis...
umaambon na, so bukas ang payong sabay lakad. tpos naghintay ng bus sa dating hintayan ng bus... umupo sa may bintana... nagumpisa nang lumutang ang akin utak, ayun,., pagdating ng vicente cruz. traffic na so umidlip muna ako tapos nung tinatamad na akong umidlip... nilabas ko yung rubics tapos ginulo at sinolve ko ng paulit ulit... hanggang sa masawa ako... pagkatapos ko, tinago ko ulit sa bag... traffic parin pero malapit na ako sa legarda... tumingin ako sa labas, hindi ako nagiisip... gumagalaw lng yung imagination ko pero, parang wala ako sa sarili...
pagdating sa school, im late sa unang subject,., physics... sobrang traffic kasi... so nalate ng konti sa lecture ni mam casquejo pero nakahabol naman ako, salamat sa kanyang notes sa board... then ayun... nagsulat ng notes... nagaral ng parang isang totoong estudyante... tapos punta na sa clase ng integral... quiz naming ngayon, just as i suspected,., mahirap at nahirapan ako... nakakainis, pero i admit defeat. talo ako, pero lumaban ako... sinagutan ko ung quiz with all my stock knowledge... natetemp na akong kumopya pero i restrained myself... sana makabawi... pagkatapos ng i.c. break kami ng 30 mins. as usual joke time kasama yung mga lagi kong kasama... tawanan, asaran... then it's logic time... the subject that i most enjoy... ang saya saya at ang sarap makinig kay sr. ibañez... galing magdefend at bumuo ng conclusions... he's good and that's what i want, nambabara pero hindi ka mapapahiya na tulad ng ibang mga prof... pagbinara ka o may reply siya sa sagot mo, he's telling you to think twice... i salute him...
sa logic class... meron siyang assignment na ipapasa sa december 6 ata... well a simple reflection paper na kailang idefend o magreflect kung si satan ba ay pure evil o talagang nasa hell siya kasi tagapaghatol siya sa hell, siya yung nagbuburn ng souls for eternity... kung nasa hell siya dapat binuburn na rin yung soul niya... something like that...
may tinanong pa siya tungkol sa chair... ang perception nung una nung iba kong kaclse it something to be sitted upon... humirit si sr. na 'if i sit on you, are now considered a chair?' it's good... hahaha tawana kaming lahat... i really enjoy logic... *the word that classifies the chair is the chairness...
last class na namin yun tapos umuwi na ako... as usual parang kaninang umaga, traffic at lumulutang ang utak ko... maybe it's a sickness na hindi ko lam... i don' know... but i know in myself that something bothers me... hindi na kaya ng blog na magease ng pain...im not being emo or somesort pero sa tingin ko malungkot ako... then i realized ngayon-ngayon lng at may natandaan ako... yung quote ni sr.bob na maybe im just a good movie that after everyshow everybody leaves me behind... ngayon, nasesense ko na smiles, laughs, sabi ng iba makwela daw ako... lumalabas yung side na iyon kapag may mga kasama ako paglabas ko sa bahay at sa school... wala na, or meron. yung talgang naging kaibigan ko na even for a sem...
i cherish my friends ,the feeling that i exert to them, gives them heat and i think they recieve it... the problem is lagi akong naglalabas pero wala akong nararamdaman na bumabalik... i don't know., baka ksp lng ako.... no it's more to that.. hindi ko masabi sa kanila,. sabi ko sa sarili ko na baka busy lang sila... then. i realize na bkit kung sa iba meron pero para sa akin wala... baka mababaw pa lang yung bonding namin, pero magkakasama kami sa araw araw... baka hanggang classmate lang ang kaya kong i-establish... i know na walang nagbabsa ng blog ko pero i hope na sana meron akong mapaglabasan ng luha... sana kahit sa chat lang o sa kung saan, magkaroon ng kahit konting pansin, talagang yun yung kailangan ko,.,
i do hope for someone, pray for that to happen...
hindi ko alam ang ilalagay kong title...
well, i woke up early...as my body clock suggests...
i woke this morning, opened my eyes and it's 5:30... i decided to get up... para maligo so bumaba na ako dala ko ang towel ko as always, then napansin ko... parang umaayon ang panahon sa akin, kahit na madilim pa eh nakikita ko ang pagbadya ng isang malakas na ulan... well hindi pa naman bumabagsak yung ulan pero alam ko lng eh... tsamba.! it's cloudy outside as i saw, tapos biglang umihip ang sobrang lamig na hangin.. so ayun humiga ako sa sofa namin at ikinumot ang towel kong dala... iidlip muna ako ng konti lng... tpos nasense ko na bumababa na si inay galing sa taas... ayun gumising na ako... umupo ng sandali tapos naligo na... then, bihis kinuha yung jacket kasi mas mabuti ng handa, kumain, at umalis...
umaambon na, so bukas ang payong sabay lakad. tpos naghintay ng bus sa dating hintayan ng bus... umupo sa may bintana... nagumpisa nang lumutang ang akin utak, ayun,., pagdating ng vicente cruz. traffic na so umidlip muna ako tapos nung tinatamad na akong umidlip... nilabas ko yung rubics tapos ginulo at sinolve ko ng paulit ulit... hanggang sa masawa ako... pagkatapos ko, tinago ko ulit sa bag... traffic parin pero malapit na ako sa legarda... tumingin ako sa labas, hindi ako nagiisip... gumagalaw lng yung imagination ko pero, parang wala ako sa sarili...
pagdating sa school, im late sa unang subject,., physics... sobrang traffic kasi... so nalate ng konti sa lecture ni mam casquejo pero nakahabol naman ako, salamat sa kanyang notes sa board... then ayun... nagsulat ng notes... nagaral ng parang isang totoong estudyante... tapos punta na sa clase ng integral... quiz naming ngayon, just as i suspected,., mahirap at nahirapan ako... nakakainis, pero i admit defeat. talo ako, pero lumaban ako... sinagutan ko ung quiz with all my stock knowledge... natetemp na akong kumopya pero i restrained myself... sana makabawi... pagkatapos ng i.c. break kami ng 30 mins. as usual joke time kasama yung mga lagi kong kasama... tawanan, asaran... then it's logic time... the subject that i most enjoy... ang saya saya at ang sarap makinig kay sr. ibañez... galing magdefend at bumuo ng conclusions... he's good and that's what i want, nambabara pero hindi ka mapapahiya na tulad ng ibang mga prof... pagbinara ka o may reply siya sa sagot mo, he's telling you to think twice... i salute him...
sa logic class... meron siyang assignment na ipapasa sa december 6 ata... well a simple reflection paper na kailang idefend o magreflect kung si satan ba ay pure evil o talagang nasa hell siya kasi tagapaghatol siya sa hell, siya yung nagbuburn ng souls for eternity... kung nasa hell siya dapat binuburn na rin yung soul niya... something like that...
may tinanong pa siya tungkol sa chair... ang perception nung una nung iba kong kaclse it something to be sitted upon... humirit si sr. na 'if i sit on you, are now considered a chair?' it's good... hahaha tawana kaming lahat... i really enjoy logic... *the word that classifies the chair is the chairness...
last class na namin yun tapos umuwi na ako... as usual parang kaninang umaga, traffic at lumulutang ang utak ko... maybe it's a sickness na hindi ko lam... i don' know... but i know in myself that something bothers me... hindi na kaya ng blog na magease ng pain...im not being emo or somesort pero sa tingin ko malungkot ako... then i realized ngayon-ngayon lng at may natandaan ako... yung quote ni sr.bob na maybe im just a good movie that after everyshow everybody leaves me behind... ngayon, nasesense ko na smiles, laughs, sabi ng iba makwela daw ako... lumalabas yung side na iyon kapag may mga kasama ako paglabas ko sa bahay at sa school... wala na, or meron. yung talgang naging kaibigan ko na even for a sem...
i cherish my friends ,the feeling that i exert to them, gives them heat and i think they recieve it... the problem is lagi akong naglalabas pero wala akong nararamdaman na bumabalik... i don't know., baka ksp lng ako.... no it's more to that.. hindi ko masabi sa kanila,. sabi ko sa sarili ko na baka busy lang sila... then. i realize na bkit kung sa iba meron pero para sa akin wala... baka mababaw pa lang yung bonding namin, pero magkakasama kami sa araw araw... baka hanggang classmate lang ang kaya kong i-establish... i know na walang nagbabsa ng blog ko pero i hope na sana meron akong mapaglabasan ng luha... sana kahit sa chat lang o sa kung saan, magkaroon ng kahit konting pansin, talagang yun yung kailangan ko,.,
i do hope for someone, pray for that to happen...
i woke this morning, opened my eyes and it's 5:30... i decided to get up... para maligo so bumaba na ako dala ko ang towel ko as always, then napansin ko... parang umaayon ang panahon sa akin, kahit na madilim pa eh nakikita ko ang pagbadya ng isang malakas na ulan... well hindi pa naman bumabagsak yung ulan pero alam ko lng eh... tsamba.! it's cloudy outside as i saw, tapos biglang umihip ang sobrang lamig na hangin.. so ayun humiga ako sa sofa namin at ikinumot ang towel kong dala... iidlip muna ako ng konti lng... tpos nasense ko na bumababa na si inay galing sa taas... ayun gumising na ako... umupo ng sandali tapos naligo na... then, bihis kinuha yung jacket kasi mas mabuti ng handa, kumain, at umalis...
umaambon na, so bukas ang payong sabay lakad. tpos naghintay ng bus sa dating hintayan ng bus... umupo sa may bintana... nagumpisa nang lumutang ang akin utak, ayun,., pagdating ng vicente cruz. traffic na so umidlip muna ako tapos nung tinatamad na akong umidlip... nilabas ko yung rubics tapos ginulo at sinolve ko ng paulit ulit... hanggang sa masawa ako... pagkatapos ko, tinago ko ulit sa bag... traffic parin pero malapit na ako sa legarda... tumingin ako sa labas, hindi ako nagiisip... gumagalaw lng yung imagination ko pero, parang wala ako sa sarili...
pagdating sa school, im late sa unang subject,., physics... sobrang traffic kasi... so nalate ng konti sa lecture ni mam casquejo pero nakahabol naman ako, salamat sa kanyang notes sa board... then ayun... nagsulat ng notes... nagaral ng parang isang totoong estudyante... tapos punta na sa clase ng integral... quiz naming ngayon, just as i suspected,., mahirap at nahirapan ako... nakakainis, pero i admit defeat. talo ako, pero lumaban ako... sinagutan ko ung quiz with all my stock knowledge... natetemp na akong kumopya pero i restrained myself... sana makabawi... pagkatapos ng i.c. break kami ng 30 mins. as usual joke time kasama yung mga lagi kong kasama... tawanan, asaran... then it's logic time... the subject that i most enjoy... ang saya saya at ang sarap makinig kay sr. ibañez... galing magdefend at bumuo ng conclusions... he's good and that's what i want, nambabara pero hindi ka mapapahiya na tulad ng ibang mga prof... pagbinara ka o may reply siya sa sagot mo, he's telling you to think twice... i salute him...
sa logic class... meron siyang assignment na ipapasa sa december 6 ata... well a simple reflection paper na kailang idefend o magreflect kung si satan ba ay pure evil o talagang nasa hell siya kasi tagapaghatol siya sa hell, siya yung nagbuburn ng souls for eternity... kung nasa hell siya dapat binuburn na rin yung soul niya... something like that...
may tinanong pa siya tungkol sa chair... ang perception nung una nung iba kong kaclse it something to be sitted upon... humirit si sr. na 'if i sit on you, are now considered a chair?' it's good... hahaha tawana kaming lahat... i really enjoy logic... *the word that classifies the chair is the chairness...
last class na namin yun tapos umuwi na ako... as usual parang kaninang umaga, traffic at lumulutang ang utak ko... maybe it's a sickness na hindi ko lam... i don' know... but i know in myself that something bothers me... hindi na kaya ng blog na magease ng pain...im not being emo or somesort pero sa tingin ko malungkot ako... then i realized ngayon-ngayon lng at may natandaan ako... yung quote ni sr.bob na maybe im just a good movie that after everyshow everybody leaves me behind... ngayon, nasesense ko na smiles, laughs, sabi ng iba makwela daw ako... lumalabas yung side na iyon kapag may mga kasama ako paglabas ko sa bahay at sa school... wala na, or meron. yung talgang naging kaibigan ko na even for a sem...
i cherish my friends ,the feeling that i exert to them, gives them heat and i think they recieve it... the problem is lagi akong naglalabas pero wala akong nararamdaman na bumabalik... i don't know., baka ksp lng ako.... no it's more to that.. hindi ko masabi sa kanila,. sabi ko sa sarili ko na baka busy lang sila... then. i realize na bkit kung sa iba meron pero para sa akin wala... baka mababaw pa lang yung bonding namin, pero magkakasama kami sa araw araw... baka hanggang classmate lang ang kaya kong i-establish... i know na walang nagbabsa ng blog ko pero i hope na sana meron akong mapaglabasan ng luha... sana kahit sa chat lang o sa kung saan, magkaroon ng kahit konting pansin, talagang yun yung kailangan ko,.,
i do hope for someone, pray for that to happen...
Friday, November 9, 2007
something's missing
much has been said
many are done
but in the end it falls
still short for something no one can see
i've put myself
doing for something
i've searched everywhere
to find nothing
inside then i ask
what do i need
maybe money, material things
then i think twice, maybe not
i've got friends
i have a family
it is still working
so what i must have to search
then i remember
one place i've got to look
somewhere near
a place where i didn't notice
then there i saw
what i lack
something easily given
but not always must be given
praise that's i need
the hunger with it
maybe im over reacting
but that's what i lack from my mother
in everything i do
there's no such good
in everyhing i say
there is always reject
maybe what i need
someone who can
turn this nightmare in to something good
to turn this wheel around
then i take a look
inside was fine
but when i looked closer
i saw a little problem
my heart's still beating
but then i realized
it's now weak
and no blood is flowing
after this, i live my life
lot's of laughs, stories and many more
but then something i know
it's good in the outside
then it's hollow inside
by me
many are done
but in the end it falls
still short for something no one can see
i've put myself
doing for something
i've searched everywhere
to find nothing
inside then i ask
what do i need
maybe money, material things
then i think twice, maybe not
i've got friends
i have a family
it is still working
so what i must have to search
then i remember
one place i've got to look
somewhere near
a place where i didn't notice
then there i saw
what i lack
something easily given
but not always must be given
praise that's i need
the hunger with it
maybe im over reacting
but that's what i lack from my mother
in everything i do
there's no such good
in everyhing i say
there is always reject
maybe what i need
someone who can
turn this nightmare in to something good
to turn this wheel around
then i take a look
inside was fine
but when i looked closer
i saw a little problem
my heart's still beating
but then i realized
it's now weak
and no blood is flowing
after this, i live my life
lot's of laughs, stories and many more
but then something i know
it's good in the outside
then it's hollow inside
by me
something's missing
much has been said
many are done
but in the end it falls
still short for something no one can see
i've put myself
doing for something
i've searched everywhere
to find nothing
inside then i ask
what do i need
maybe money, material things
then i think twice, maybe not
i've got friends
i have a family
it is still working
so what i must have to search
then i remember
one place i've got to look
somewhere near
a place where i didn't notice
then there i saw
what i lack
something easily given
but not always must be given
praise that's i need
the hunger with it
maybe im over reacting
but that's what i lack from my mother
in everything i do
there's no such good
in everyhing i say
there is always reject
maybe what i need
someone who can
turn this nightmare in to something good
to turn this wheel around
then i take a look
inside was fine
but when i looked closer
i saw a little problem
my heart's still beating
but then i realized
it's now weak
and no blood is flowing
after this, i live my life
lot's of laughs, stories and many more
but then something i know
it's good in the outside
then it's hollow inside
many are done
but in the end it falls
still short for something no one can see
i've put myself
doing for something
i've searched everywhere
to find nothing
inside then i ask
what do i need
maybe money, material things
then i think twice, maybe not
i've got friends
i have a family
it is still working
so what i must have to search
then i remember
one place i've got to look
somewhere near
a place where i didn't notice
then there i saw
what i lack
something easily given
but not always must be given
praise that's i need
the hunger with it
maybe im over reacting
but that's what i lack from my mother
in everything i do
there's no such good
in everyhing i say
there is always reject
maybe what i need
someone who can
turn this nightmare in to something good
to turn this wheel around
then i take a look
inside was fine
but when i looked closer
i saw a little problem
my heart's still beating
but then i realized
it's now weak
and no blood is flowing
after this, i live my life
lot's of laughs, stories and many more
but then something i know
it's good in the outside
then it's hollow inside
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
a simple fairytale
when i woke up this morning
my body seemed to be lowly
because my dream of a fairy
and my princess that was cheery
just stop suddenly
i said it was such a good dream
the sun shining it's beam;
but as all it may seem
fairytales has bad things to slim
all good that has to be seen
i was there, with someone i wished for
her heart for me, already opened the door
we're happy as it can be; but then there's suddenly a roar
it's a dragon not just a wild boar
ready to breath fire to tear us apart
but as i see
im not a knight that shines as to be
but an ordinary person not big as a tree;
we tried to flee
but just as i thought it was no use at all
my princess; in fear just tremble
as we run together, also we fumble
it think this is no use, 'cause many times we stumble
there's only one choice but it can cause me to crumble
i said "go on, it will be easy as a bubble"
but then she resist
she said "i won't leave you" with closed fist
then i shouted because im pissed
she turned her back with eyes teary and full of resist
but i said i must do it because she was first on my list
she run away
like a butterfly astray
then i faced the dragon's rays
this big thing that i must slay
but i am no where to find anything to help?!
im just a normal person... i've got nothing but hope and spirit
then the fight was there
between me and a dragon much more than a bear
then i was in tears
hoping i will see her again
then it was it. now is the time
the fight between the skies and a mime
although it's not very sublime
i'll try my best not to die
then out of thin air i draw a sword
it's much louder than any other word
this is the time for an action
i just need a fraction
to beat this thing out of my sight
then there it is;
tossed as i were
i have an injure that i can't bare
all i did was to stare
to an enemy that i can't pair
then up i stood
just like in the movies; a marvelous steed
then with a great speed
in the heart just stab it
i didn't know what i did
then i sat in it's lifeless body;
i don't have any breath that was stored
now i felt that apart i was tore
the pain that i can't feel anymore
it's just too hard to live more
with bruises and blood everywhere;
my eyes are now closing
i think my heart stop beating
my body i no more feel
now this wasn't a great deal
then i just smiled
happy that she was alive
the fight that i strive
now left me breathless
calm in the land of forever
then i opened my eyes
i realized it was just a dream
because i saw the ceiling with the color of cream
but i thought it was such a good theme
as good maybe to be a film
in the things i saw
i wept for a second
because we have an everlasting bond
is impossible to in the real world
just myself i told
i want to hug her
from behind; for so i love her
this, her heart she can't hear
that from inside of me that cause it to tear
for so i know
myself i will love her
eventhough nothing in return
i will love her forever more
like in the dream
it was a fairytale
a last resort
in the real world it is no redemption
but a real feeling of a heart that loves forever
- first posted poem
*charoaldrin/lipas_gu2m/tirador ng kaning lamig
by:
aldren thomas rocha
my body seemed to be lowly
because my dream of a fairy
and my princess that was cheery
just stop suddenly
i said it was such a good dream
the sun shining it's beam;
but as all it may seem
fairytales has bad things to slim
all good that has to be seen
i was there, with someone i wished for
her heart for me, already opened the door
we're happy as it can be; but then there's suddenly a roar
it's a dragon not just a wild boar
ready to breath fire to tear us apart
but as i see
im not a knight that shines as to be
but an ordinary person not big as a tree;
we tried to flee
but just as i thought it was no use at all
my princess; in fear just tremble
as we run together, also we fumble
it think this is no use, 'cause many times we stumble
there's only one choice but it can cause me to crumble
i said "go on, it will be easy as a bubble"
but then she resist
she said "i won't leave you" with closed fist
then i shouted because im pissed
she turned her back with eyes teary and full of resist
but i said i must do it because she was first on my list
she run away
like a butterfly astray
then i faced the dragon's rays
this big thing that i must slay
but i am no where to find anything to help?!
im just a normal person... i've got nothing but hope and spirit
then the fight was there
between me and a dragon much more than a bear
then i was in tears
hoping i will see her again
then it was it. now is the time
the fight between the skies and a mime
although it's not very sublime
i'll try my best not to die
then out of thin air i draw a sword
it's much louder than any other word
this is the time for an action
i just need a fraction
to beat this thing out of my sight
then there it is;
tossed as i were
i have an injure that i can't bare
all i did was to stare
to an enemy that i can't pair
then up i stood
just like in the movies; a marvelous steed
then with a great speed
in the heart just stab it
i didn't know what i did
then i sat in it's lifeless body;
i don't have any breath that was stored
now i felt that apart i was tore
the pain that i can't feel anymore
it's just too hard to live more
with bruises and blood everywhere;
my eyes are now closing
i think my heart stop beating
my body i no more feel
now this wasn't a great deal
then i just smiled
happy that she was alive
the fight that i strive
now left me breathless
calm in the land of forever
then i opened my eyes
i realized it was just a dream
because i saw the ceiling with the color of cream
but i thought it was such a good theme
as good maybe to be a film
in the things i saw
i wept for a second
because we have an everlasting bond
is impossible to in the real world
just myself i told
i want to hug her
from behind; for so i love her
this, her heart she can't hear
that from inside of me that cause it to tear
for so i know
myself i will love her
eventhough nothing in return
i will love her forever more
like in the dream
it was a fairytale
a last resort
in the real world it is no redemption
but a real feeling of a heart that loves forever
- first posted poem
*charoaldrin/lipas_gu2m/tirador ng kaning lamig
by:
aldren thomas rocha
a simple fairytale
when i woke up this morning
my body seemed to be lowly
because my dream of a fairy
and my princess that was cheery
just stop suddenly
i said it was such a good dream
the sun shining it's beam;
but as all it may seem
fairytales has bad things to slim
all good that has to be seen
i was there, with someone i wished for
her heart for me, already opened the door
we're happy as it can be; but then there's suddenly a roar
it's a dragon not just a wild boar
ready to breath fire to tear us apart
but as i see
im not a knight that shines as to be
but an ordinary person not big as a tree;
we tried to flee
but just as i thought it was no use at all
my princess; in fear just tremble
as we run together, also we fumble
it think this is no use, 'cause many times we stumble
there's only one choice but it can cause me to crumble
i said "go on, it will be easy as a bubble"
but then she resist
she said "i won't leave you" with closed fist
then i shouted because im pissed
she turned her back with eyes teary and full of resist
but i said i must do it because she was first on my list
she run away
like a butterfly astray
then i faced the dragon's rays
this big thing that i must slay
but i am no where to find anything to help?!
im just a normal person... i've got nothing but hope and spirit
then the fight was there
between me and a dragon much more than a bear
then i was in tears
hoping i will see her again
then it was it. now is the time
the fight between the skies and a mime
although it's not very sublime
i'll try my best not to die
then out of thin air i draw a sword
it's much louder than any other word
this is the time for an action
i just need a fraction
to beat this thing out of my sight
then there it is;
tossed as i were
i have an injure that i can't bare
all i did was to stare
to an enemy that i can't pair
then up i stood
just like in the movies; a marvelous steed
then with a great speed
in the heart just stab it
i didn't know what i did
then i sat in it's lifeless body;
i don't have any breath that was stored
now i felt that apart i was tore
the pain that i can't feel anymore
it's just too hard to live more
with bruises and blood everywhere;
my eyes are now closing
i think my heart stop beating
my body i no more feel
now this wasn't a great deal
then i just smiled
happy that she was alive
the fight that i strive
now left me breathless
calm in the land of forever
then i opened my eyes
i realized it was just a dream
because i saw the ceiling with the color of cream
but i thought it was such a good theme
as good maybe to be a film
in the things i saw
i wept for a second
because we have an everlasting bond
is impossible to in the real world
just myself i told
i want to hug her
from behind; for so i love her
this, her heart she can't hear
that from inside of me that cause it to tear
for so i know
myself i will love her
eventhough nothing in return
i will love her forever more
like in the dream
it was a fairytale
a last resort
in the real world it is no redemption
but a real feeling of a heart that loves forever
- first posted poem
*lipas_gu2m
by:
aldren thomas rocha
my body seemed to be lowly
because my dream of a fairy
and my princess that was cheery
just stop suddenly
i said it was such a good dream
the sun shining it's beam;
but as all it may seem
fairytales has bad things to slim
all good that has to be seen
i was there, with someone i wished for
her heart for me, already opened the door
we're happy as it can be; but then there's suddenly a roar
it's a dragon not just a wild boar
ready to breath fire to tear us apart
but as i see
im not a knight that shines as to be
but an ordinary person not big as a tree;
we tried to flee
but just as i thought it was no use at all
my princess; in fear just tremble
as we run together, also we fumble
it think this is no use, 'cause many times we stumble
there's only one choice but it can cause me to crumble
i said "go on, it will be easy as a bubble"
but then she resist
she said "i won't leave you" with closed fist
then i shouted because im pissed
she turned her back with eyes teary and full of resist
but i said i must do it because she was first on my list
she run away
like a butterfly astray
then i faced the dragon's rays
this big thing that i must slay
but i am no where to find anything to help?!
im just a normal person... i've got nothing but hope and spirit
then the fight was there
between me and a dragon much more than a bear
then i was in tears
hoping i will see her again
then it was it. now is the time
the fight between the skies and a mime
although it's not very sublime
i'll try my best not to die
then out of thin air i draw a sword
it's much louder than any other word
this is the time for an action
i just need a fraction
to beat this thing out of my sight
then there it is;
tossed as i were
i have an injure that i can't bare
all i did was to stare
to an enemy that i can't pair
then up i stood
just like in the movies; a marvelous steed
then with a great speed
in the heart just stab it
i didn't know what i did
then i sat in it's lifeless body;
i don't have any breath that was stored
now i felt that apart i was tore
the pain that i can't feel anymore
it's just too hard to live more
with bruises and blood everywhere;
my eyes are now closing
i think my heart stop beating
my body i no more feel
now this wasn't a great deal
then i just smiled
happy that she was alive
the fight that i strive
now left me breathless
calm in the land of forever
then i opened my eyes
i realized it was just a dream
because i saw the ceiling with the color of cream
but i thought it was such a good theme
as good maybe to be a film
in the things i saw
i wept for a second
because we have an everlasting bond
is impossible to in the real world
just myself i told
i want to hug her
from behind; for so i love her
this, her heart she can't hear
that from inside of me that cause it to tear
for so i know
myself i will love her
eventhough nothing in return
i will love her forever more
like in the dream
it was a fairytale
a last resort
in the real world it is no redemption
but a real feeling of a heart that loves forever
- first posted poem
*lipas_gu2m
by:
aldren thomas rocha
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