i can't simply cry

i can't simply cry
-aldren thomas rocha

how to live a life
if the light inside
is slowly turning dim
and glass inside has shattered into small pieces

how can anyone capture moments
if one cannot create those
if he is stuck in a black whole
when a second is equal to eternity

how can someone be happy
if others insist what they want
for the person whose wants something
therefore not achieving what he wants

how can i get something i wish
if there is not such thing as chance to get it
it's either, they say it's not what they want for me
or we can't simply have it

how can i feel accomplishment
is others pull me down
in something they want for me
leaving my dreams aside for them

how can i think for a solutions
when problems are over powering
living in the real world
and not in a world where i think of solutions

how can i have a peaceful life
when my mind thinks of something
my body pursue it
and at the end i will regret what i've done

how can somebody feel me
when everybody hears only jokes
then after that, everybody leaves me
weeping and had been eaten by sorrow

how can i love
if i catched all the rejections
creating a wall of stone
leaving no space for my heart to breathe

how can i cry
if there is no shoulder to cry on
i always gladly share mine
and when the time i weep, everybody turns and walk away

how can i have a happy ending
im busy hearing everybody's love story
and in the end
i realized, where is mine?

how can i reach the world
when i am busy pushing someone upward
to catch his/her dreams
then after that, i am burried under, left with no one

how can i possibly meet ms right
if i got all the imperfections
making myself not fitted
for any ms right anymore

how can i open a door
if i was knocking from the start
and everyone is pushing their door
against me

i can possibly live my life
until i can't live anymore
living my life is not easy;
a little helps to leave a little easy
but more pulls me inside a vortex that i can't anymore escape

my emotions are stuck
i live a life where most of the time i can't get what i want
i can't live freely and to the fullest
i want to explode and cry
but i simply can't

i've got to be strong
for everyone to see
but little by little
i am giving up

i need someone to hear me cry
i need someone to give me heat
a heat that can warm my emotions back again
to heal my spirit,
wounded and shivering
numb from everybody's throwing

i tried to heal it by myself
but it wouldn't
he just told me to stop
this problem cannot be solved by the two of us
but then, don't stop holding

if i let go,

maybe i just don't know anymore.