character...

naisahan nanaman ako ng matindi kong kalaban... ang calculus. i did all the preparations needed to pass., nagrebyu naman ako ng maayos. pero bakit ganun. mahal ko si integral calculus ero hindi niya ako mahal. parang isang masaklap na lovestory naming dalawa. pang asar... bago mag i.c. lax pa ako, tapos nung dumating yung test paper, ayun, stun ako... walan joe... pang asar, sana hindi na lang pala ako nagrebyu... sabi ni jemil, prelim pa lang naman eh.... ngayon tumindi pa ang doubts ko kung papasa pa ba ako... sabi nila kahit saan, at kahit kailan, parating may chance, na sa iyo na lang kung kukuhain mo. prelim pa nga lang... may mid term at finals pa. meron pa rin namang summer na sana hindi ko na abutin... grabeng pasakit yan...

may nabubuong perception sa utak ko na ang calculus ay ginawa lang para pahirapan ang mga bagay-bagay. tinuklas yan ng mga taong walang magawa sa buhay. tipong natuklas yan ng mga taong tambay sa kalye... kaasar talaga... hindi pa rin ako mawawalan ng pagasa... liligawan ko parin til the end si i.c. and maybe, someday, well be happy together.... OYEH!

no doubts about it. bagsak ako sa i.c. ngayong prelim. patay tayo dyan.

nagkakaroon na ata ako ng inferiority complex, dahil parang may mga certain things sinasabi ng aking mahiwagang thoughts, 'hindi mo kaya yan' at yan ang nakakaasar. i don't know kung ano ang makakatulong sa akin para maging maayos ang lahat... im looking for my inspiration, maybe she will change me, maybe i need her now at nakakasawa ng maghintay, baka rin hindi pa ngayon. bubulukin ko ang sarili ko sa kahihintay. dadating din yan, ng hindi daw inaasahan. talagang 'fate' lang ang hinihintay ko... sana wag itong matulad sa integral calculus.

things are to be used and people are to be loved. that's a basic concept. but then alterations come. things now are loved and people are used. saya ng buhay,., kung ang mga babae eh naghihintay sa kanilang prnce charming. maybe ako? hinihintay ko ang panahon na makita ko ang ililigtas ko.

now, i just want some peace of mind. to release all the stress that i am feeling,., kailangan ko ng break. to realize my potentials and get back to the track. grades, they are figures that all matured people specially old people look. now i don't realize why? bakit sa school, walang grade ang character, at puro calculus, physics and other subjects lang ang meron. bakit may mga bagay-bagay na hindi maapreciate ng tao tulad ng effort na isinasagad ng taong desperado. figures, when we we're young. senseless yan, all matters is that we've done our best, and that's the best that we can do. somethings are taken for granted. and as a child we tried so hard and yet even we fail, there has a sense of accomplishment. then we wake sometime, figures make the world move. and now, all things are not appreciated. no sense of enjoyement but work work work. maybe character is something that old people are afraid to look, and that's why they don't grade it. figures, grades are now the main in finding your job and bosses don't look for character. maybe that's why problems step up because, people don't want character, all they want is figures. that, maybe also a reason for some disparity among people. people are rational beings. it has also it's own immaterial essence. making every peple different with each other. others like figures, several choose for character.

character makes a person to have a substance.

not figures.

but in the end it's your choice, if you choose between figures and character or even both of them.

it is just an output of a playful mind on things





time to move on, may exam pa ako sa physics bukas at 'quiz' sa logic. iagdasal ninyo na sana pumasa ako... hehehe