a day started as the sun rose. do the scheduled tasks. everything.
as always, people stab me for the things that they want for me. hating this so much want me to explode. i've got again my composture in thinking about things. atleast i am almost back.
the end of my sched in school. just, i felt a certain hapiness because at last after i got long hours of waiting for what's going to happen in my phil history grade. renz just poped up...
and now...
i don't know what i am going to put in here...
sa susunod na lang kapag hindi na ako gaanong sabog.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
ash wednesday.
kakadating lang sa school. sobrang traffic at nakakaasar, pagod ka na nga tapos trapik pa tapos gutom ka pa... san ka pa. well kaya naman ako ginabi eh dahil 5:30 nag start yung mass tapos natapos ng 6:30 dahil sa sobrang daming tao ang naglalabas masok sa church para mag paabo sa noo. ayus.! kaya ayun nandito ako sa computer shop dahil gagawa pa ako ng reaction paper para sa logic... just justify kung pwede na "a person will love humanity but hate a single person" pwede nga ba...
just tiring pero sulit sa laugh trip. inireto ni mam erpelo si jemil kay carmela na crush naman ni...
tapos. ayun . sunod sunod na. sulet talaga. pagkatapos ng p.e. nagpunta na kami sa church na ang sabi eh 5 daw ang umpisa ng mass... as usual filipino time nga naman. 5:30 nag simula. ang tagal naming nakatayo, buong mass dahil puno na ang simbahan... parang bus, tayuan.
may iniwan na quote si father advincula... the priest na nasa giyera sa iraq dati. well. here it goes.
"if only some people live simply... it will let others simply live..."
which i think eh tama naman. no worries. so ayun nga.
pagod ang araw pero tuloy parin ang pag andar ng utak ko. hindi naman pinipilit pero gusto lang mag isip. sabogaloids nga ako...
many judge people. give them a chance to redeem themselves. pag umulit pa, hahaha... bahala ka sa buhay mo. tulad ko, magulo ako pero walng sense... wala talagang silbe...
kailangan ko na nag gumawa ng reflection paper.
may exam pa sa physics bukas.
meron akong pangarap... ang tumulog at hindi na gumising sa magandang panaginip...
but there's just one thing to remember..
you had been given a life (hindi ko alam kung tama yung gramming)
so try to live so hard... try to be happy....
life is not a bus that if you missed you can catch the other one...
this only ride once... so live as much as possible...
don't be afraid to live... and don't be afraid to be happy...
ah yeh!
just tiring pero sulit sa laugh trip. inireto ni mam erpelo si jemil kay carmela na crush naman ni...
tapos. ayun . sunod sunod na. sulet talaga. pagkatapos ng p.e. nagpunta na kami sa church na ang sabi eh 5 daw ang umpisa ng mass... as usual filipino time nga naman. 5:30 nag simula. ang tagal naming nakatayo, buong mass dahil puno na ang simbahan... parang bus, tayuan.may iniwan na quote si father advincula... the priest na nasa giyera sa iraq dati. well. here it goes.
"if only some people live simply... it will let others simply live..."
which i think eh tama naman. no worries. so ayun nga.
pagod ang araw pero tuloy parin ang pag andar ng utak ko. hindi naman pinipilit pero gusto lang mag isip. sabogaloids nga ako...
many judge people. give them a chance to redeem themselves. pag umulit pa, hahaha... bahala ka sa buhay mo. tulad ko, magulo ako pero walng sense... wala talagang silbe...
kailangan ko na nag gumawa ng reflection paper.
may exam pa sa physics bukas.
meron akong pangarap... ang tumulog at hindi na gumising sa magandang panaginip...
but there's just one thing to remember..
you had been given a life (hindi ko alam kung tama yung gramming)
so try to live so hard... try to be happy....
life is not a bus that if you missed you can catch the other one...
this only ride once... so live as much as possible...
don't be afraid to live... and don't be afraid to be happy...
ah yeh!
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
conversation ni chiz habang i.c.
cant express myself fully in the midst of other people, some tried to see what is inside that sketch pad that i am working on... and luckily they failed.
just isolating myself a bit but from time to time i am still checking out.
there are still many people who are judging me, i hate it. i am not good at judging at things even for a single person. so in that part i am not judging people.
at times i hate this life, i live almost freely in this space that i am typing this things, but after this, but to my own frigging life.
ang sama ng pakiramdam ko pero wala akong sakit. mahirap talagang iexplain ang ibang mga bagay. actions speak louder than words. mahirap lang talaga na gumagawa ka ng mga bagay na hindi mo gusto at kapag pumalya kasalanan mo pa. hindi nman ako nagpapakaemo pero eto ako ngayon. siguro dahil ito dun sa teenage crisis, crisis that parents should be attending and helping their son. haay naku...
can't do things that i want
can't cry
can't be stubborn
and all that i will do
pretend and burn myself to the things that people push me to.
all are looking at figures. looking at the future, preparing for it.
all prepare for hapiness for the future.
but then i ask someone, a seatmate about that. in time of copying note in calculus
"ei gusto mo ba yung ginagawa mo ngayon, gusto mo yung course mo"
seatmate answers in an unsecure tone "oo, bakit."
"bakit ka nag aaral ng e.c.e kung mas gusto mo na mag culinary arts?"
he answered now in a proud voice "naghahanda ako para sa kinabukasan ko, future na magiging magaan ang lahat. para maganda ang kita. at para sa future eh relax na lang ako."
napaisip ako ngayon,. tapos
"eh paano kung sabihin natin na hindi ka umabot sa future, yung pinaghahandaan mo?"
"eh bakit mo iniisip na mamamatay ka na? baliw ka talaga"
sabi ko "ipinapalagay ko nga na 'paano nga' kung hindi ka umabot sa future, bakit ang ibang tao, hindi naman nila alam na mamamatay na sila ah, naaksidente. wala na. hindi natin maaalis na baka bukas eh patay ka na diba, eh di hindi ka na naging masaya dahil ang iniiisip mo eh yung kita mo sa future?"
ngumiti na lang siya tapos, nakinig na sa prof na nagdidiscuss ng polar area. naramdaman ko na parang wala ata siyang maisagot kaya kumopya na lang ako ng notes. hindi ko alam kung nagiging pessimistic na ako pero sa tingin ko, hindi naman, may times siguro... hindi ko din alam basta thoughts and imaginations eh madaling dumadating sa akin, no one can force thoughts out of his/her mind.
nagdaan ang araw, sumikat ang araw, lumubog. tulad ng tao na pwedeng mawala sa isang iglap. maraming posibilidad. always got a choice, choice kung kelan ka magiging masaya.
people always burn themselves to money, power, and somethings. may mga hindi kumakain para makabili ng gustong bilhin. but then some people just forget how to become people. forget things that make them human. some becoming selfish and being inhuman. looking at looks, being greedy, materialistic and many more. forgeting the essence of life.
ang hirap talagang iexpress ang sarili. well, figures or not, medyo uso na rin ang pagtingin ng figures, grades to achievements. but then.
figures will give you... and improve you to...
a question that i can't express the answer.
it's up to you
just isolating myself a bit but from time to time i am still checking out.
there are still many people who are judging me, i hate it. i am not good at judging at things even for a single person. so in that part i am not judging people.
at times i hate this life, i live almost freely in this space that i am typing this things, but after this, but to my own frigging life.
ang sama ng pakiramdam ko pero wala akong sakit. mahirap talagang iexplain ang ibang mga bagay. actions speak louder than words. mahirap lang talaga na gumagawa ka ng mga bagay na hindi mo gusto at kapag pumalya kasalanan mo pa. hindi nman ako nagpapakaemo pero eto ako ngayon. siguro dahil ito dun sa teenage crisis, crisis that parents should be attending and helping their son. haay naku...
can't do things that i want
can't cry
can't be stubborn
and all that i will do
pretend and burn myself to the things that people push me to.
all are looking at figures. looking at the future, preparing for it.
all prepare for hapiness for the future.
but then i ask someone, a seatmate about that. in time of copying note in calculus
"ei gusto mo ba yung ginagawa mo ngayon, gusto mo yung course mo"
seatmate answers in an unsecure tone "oo, bakit."
"bakit ka nag aaral ng e.c.e kung mas gusto mo na mag culinary arts?"
he answered now in a proud voice "naghahanda ako para sa kinabukasan ko, future na magiging magaan ang lahat. para maganda ang kita. at para sa future eh relax na lang ako."
napaisip ako ngayon,. tapos
"eh paano kung sabihin natin na hindi ka umabot sa future, yung pinaghahandaan mo?"
"eh bakit mo iniisip na mamamatay ka na? baliw ka talaga"
sabi ko "ipinapalagay ko nga na 'paano nga' kung hindi ka umabot sa future, bakit ang ibang tao, hindi naman nila alam na mamamatay na sila ah, naaksidente. wala na. hindi natin maaalis na baka bukas eh patay ka na diba, eh di hindi ka na naging masaya dahil ang iniiisip mo eh yung kita mo sa future?"
ngumiti na lang siya tapos, nakinig na sa prof na nagdidiscuss ng polar area. naramdaman ko na parang wala ata siyang maisagot kaya kumopya na lang ako ng notes. hindi ko alam kung nagiging pessimistic na ako pero sa tingin ko, hindi naman, may times siguro... hindi ko din alam basta thoughts and imaginations eh madaling dumadating sa akin, no one can force thoughts out of his/her mind.
nagdaan ang araw, sumikat ang araw, lumubog. tulad ng tao na pwedeng mawala sa isang iglap. maraming posibilidad. always got a choice, choice kung kelan ka magiging masaya.
people always burn themselves to money, power, and somethings. may mga hindi kumakain para makabili ng gustong bilhin. but then some people just forget how to become people. forget things that make them human. some becoming selfish and being inhuman. looking at looks, being greedy, materialistic and many more. forgeting the essence of life.
ang hirap talagang iexpress ang sarili. well, figures or not, medyo uso na rin ang pagtingin ng figures, grades to achievements. but then.
figures will give you... and improve you to...
a question that i can't express the answer.
it's up to you
Saturday, February 2, 2008
three little birds.
hindi ko alam ang ilalagay ko dito... so long since the last time i blog, masyadong busy and masyado din maraming time na nagiisip... mahirap in the sense na crowded na yung utak mo. just having a hard time in figuring stuffs..
mahirap din kasi lagi na ring nabubulilyaso ang mga plano... it stays as a plan because of some bad luck... masyado lang siguro akong maswerte. perhaps ako na nga lang ang nakakaintindi sa sarili ko, pero sometimes i just to accept the fact na talagang bibihira lang ang mga taong makakaintindi sa akin. and that selected people, helps, i appreciate the efforts. pero mahirap lang talagang i explain, it helps but i think the problem is much bigger, all i can do is to stop and think about facts...
burning myself... bad idea.. well. parang ang bilis ng january pero parang ang tagal din. then, it ended badly... at para talagang ang sama sama ng taon ko... siguro nasa akin ang choice kung ano ang mangyayari ...
before na confine si tito ponso sa hospital, before magend ang january gusto ko sanang pumunta, pero nagkaroon kami ng exam, kaasar... well, gusto ko sana siyang makita o makausap. well, the week is somewhat happy. as always, hapi sa loob ng skul pagdating sa labas... hindi ko na alam,., and now, im down in the midst of nowhere. i don't know kung kailan ito magiging maayos... pero sana... balang araw
life is an equilibrium, at times unexpectable and sometimes not. just hard. but then, to be happy it must be in the middle, you must not forget the things you need to do... responsibility... ang leisures in life... must fall down in the middle. sometimes, you just wish that things will end when you sleep, but then you woke upthe very next day. you expect something. but then you achieve nothing even if it required you hard work. life is sometimes cruel, in the sense that many people wanted to control you. friendship is very hard to earn, hapiness too is just the same. sometimes, you must sacrifice something, time will come that you will know what your efforts carried you. sometimes, you want to see someone, then you've got to choose. then, you wont see him in a long time, but for sure you will see that person. my prayers are yours. hope that i will see all of you in due time, lola edad, tito carding, tito ponso. im just now, down in midst of nowhere. because i didn't grab the opportunity. well. hope that someday i will see you all. sana, magkitakita tayo... the lost time i didn'y spend, the time that i choose the wrong thing, miserable from the start of the year... now... it's much more miserable than ever...
mahirap din kasi lagi na ring nabubulilyaso ang mga plano... it stays as a plan because of some bad luck... masyado lang siguro akong maswerte. perhaps ako na nga lang ang nakakaintindi sa sarili ko, pero sometimes i just to accept the fact na talagang bibihira lang ang mga taong makakaintindi sa akin. and that selected people, helps, i appreciate the efforts. pero mahirap lang talagang i explain, it helps but i think the problem is much bigger, all i can do is to stop and think about facts...
burning myself... bad idea.. well. parang ang bilis ng january pero parang ang tagal din. then, it ended badly... at para talagang ang sama sama ng taon ko... siguro nasa akin ang choice kung ano ang mangyayari ...
before na confine si tito ponso sa hospital, before magend ang january gusto ko sanang pumunta, pero nagkaroon kami ng exam, kaasar... well, gusto ko sana siyang makita o makausap. well, the week is somewhat happy. as always, hapi sa loob ng skul pagdating sa labas... hindi ko na alam,., and now, im down in the midst of nowhere. i don't know kung kailan ito magiging maayos... pero sana... balang araw
life is an equilibrium, at times unexpectable and sometimes not. just hard. but then, to be happy it must be in the middle, you must not forget the things you need to do... responsibility... ang leisures in life... must fall down in the middle. sometimes, you just wish that things will end when you sleep, but then you woke upthe very next day. you expect something. but then you achieve nothing even if it required you hard work. life is sometimes cruel, in the sense that many people wanted to control you. friendship is very hard to earn, hapiness too is just the same. sometimes, you must sacrifice something, time will come that you will know what your efforts carried you. sometimes, you want to see someone, then you've got to choose. then, you wont see him in a long time, but for sure you will see that person. my prayers are yours. hope that i will see all of you in due time, lola edad, tito carding, tito ponso. im just now, down in midst of nowhere. because i didn't grab the opportunity. well. hope that someday i will see you all. sana, magkitakita tayo... the lost time i didn'y spend, the time that i choose the wrong thing, miserable from the start of the year... now... it's much more miserable than ever...
Alfonso Ricohermoso (tito ponso)
August 15, 1939
January 30, 2008
my prayers are yours, i hope that one day we'll talk as long as time gives....
three little birds- bobmarley
Dont worry about a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Singin: dont worry about a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right!
Rise up this mornin,
Smiled with the risin sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin, (this is my message to you-ou-ou:)
Singin: dont worry bout a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Singin: dont worry (dont worry) bout a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right!
Rise up this mornin,
Smiled with the risin sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin, this is my message to you-ou-ou:
Singin: dont worry about a thing, worry about a thing, oh!
Every little thing gonna be all right. dont worry!
Singin: dont worry about a thing - I wont worry!
cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Singin: dont worry about a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right - I wont worry!
Singin: dont worry about a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Singin: dont worry about a thing, oh no!
cause every little thing gonna be all right!
August 15, 1939
January 30, 2008
my prayers are yours, i hope that one day we'll talk as long as time gives....
three little birds- bobmarley
Dont worry about a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Singin: dont worry about a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right!
Rise up this mornin,
Smiled with the risin sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin, (this is my message to you-ou-ou:)
Singin: dont worry bout a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Singin: dont worry (dont worry) bout a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right!
Rise up this mornin,
Smiled with the risin sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin, this is my message to you-ou-ou:
Singin: dont worry about a thing, worry about a thing, oh!
Every little thing gonna be all right. dont worry!
Singin: dont worry about a thing - I wont worry!
cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Singin: dont worry about a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right - I wont worry!
Singin: dont worry about a thing,
cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Singin: dont worry about a thing, oh no!
cause every little thing gonna be all right!
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
>_<
still too much frustrations,
hindi na kayang ilabas ng simpleng pagwawala sa loob ng karaoke hub na kasama sila jemil, lex, chiz, tina, arwin... hindi rin kinaya ng simpleng pagdodota...
now i am cursing things just to ease up this pain... so damn frustrated...
tanginang buhay to!...
lahat lahat, nawawala sa akin kahit na yung mga bagay na gusto kong kuhain nawawala parin...
badtrip...
bwakananginamo...
hindi pa sapat ito, kung kulang pa,,, tara, square na lang tayo...
(sorry sa pag mumura...)
sobrang frustrations... need to have a decent break, siguro maglalayas muna ako???
pagdasal ninyo nasana maayos ang lahat...
badtrip talaga... simula pa nung mga panahon na hindi ko na matandaan ito...
ow men!
sabogaloids na ako!!!
hindi na kayang ilabas ng simpleng pagwawala sa loob ng karaoke hub na kasama sila jemil, lex, chiz, tina, arwin... hindi rin kinaya ng simpleng pagdodota...
now i am cursing things just to ease up this pain... so damn frustrated...
tanginang buhay to!...
lahat lahat, nawawala sa akin kahit na yung mga bagay na gusto kong kuhain nawawala parin...
badtrip...
bwakananginamo...
hindi pa sapat ito, kung kulang pa,,, tara, square na lang tayo...
(sorry sa pag mumura...)
sobrang frustrations... need to have a decent break, siguro maglalayas muna ako???
pagdasal ninyo nasana maayos ang lahat...
badtrip talaga... simula pa nung mga panahon na hindi ko na matandaan ito...
ow men!
sabogaloids na ako!!!
Saturday, January 19, 2008
so damn frustrated
i am frustrated in everything... in our house, in school, in studies... in everything..
everything from the start, everything that i gain always seems to be lost, everyone that i know... i don't already know... i hate also that i can't express what i want to express. i hate everything.... i hate. all. i hate that i can't cry when i needed to and i can't cry even if i wanted. i don't know wha't the problem in this body. i hate everyone. from our house to the school. i am so frustrated because everyone want to govern my life, everyone tells me what i will do, what will i want... everything... can't express every thing... i want to explode but my body is too stubborn to do something like that... i hate my life.... i am so frustrated in all the thing that i want to achieve because in the point of achieving it... it becomes nothing. i hate my life. i hate it.
family, only wants me too burn myself in studying. in school, everybody is teasing me... all looks fine because i am smiling... when i say my burden to them, nobody cares. all they say is something... when i run to my family, all their concern is their suffering... nobody cares... that i am now suffering too much... now, nobody is there to trust... nobody will listen to me... nobody wants to listen to me...
now i am failing in things... in school, in my dreams...a always fail. all want's to govern my life, in the point of loosing... they blame on me, all cares and all want me to what they please. in the point of loosing. nobody cares... all they do is to blame...
in prelim. i failed 2 major subjects...
nobody cared but only said...
makakabawi ka pa ... prelim pa lang naman eh...
gusto nila akong bumawi pero hindi nila alam kung ano ang hirap na pinagdadaanan ko ngayon, i want to explode...
mas madali ninyong sabihin na madali lang ang lahat pero sa akin, all is too damn hard...
kung alam nyo lang... i am so damn frustrated in this life...
i want to do a change, i want to pass....
but im suffering too much... i am lost....
can someone take it all away, my frustrations, my dreams, my life... i can't stand things anymore....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)